(Closed) 9 days out, "Please stop bugging me about writing my vows"

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Leave it alone.  He knows he needs to write them and the more you bug him about it, the more he is going to put it off.  Besides, if he did write them already he may not tell you because it’s not in the final draft or he doesn’t want you to read them before the wedding.  If you trust him to show up dressed and on time for the wedding then trust him to have his vows written.

Post # 5
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

There’s no way he’s NOT going to do it and if reminding him about it only irritates him, just trust that he’ll get to it when the mood strikes him and probably do an awesome job with it. (Or . . . are you writing them together and you need his input?) All you can control is what YOU do. But if I were you, I’d just have faith that he loves you and will not disappoint you on this.

Post # 6
Member
3304 posts
Sugar bee

@aggie2010:  I agree, you should back off. He is right, you have to be in the right state of mind, and pressuring him will hurt his chances of coming up with something beautiful. You wouldn’t want them to sound forced or fake would you? He knows what he has to do, he’ll pull it together. Concentrate on other things to take your mind off that anxiety!

Post # 7
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’d leave it. He knows he can’t show up on the wedding day without any vows to say! He probably feels like he can’t write from his heart under pressure. 

Post # 8
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@aggie2010:  Stop bugging him. He’s just as stressed as you are. He’s his own person and needs time away from you nagging him. You’re marrying a man, not a child. So let him do this on his own in his own time.

Post # 10
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You’re probably stressing him out more. I’d just leave it alone, he knows the wedding is in 9 days. I’d probably be a little worried too but try to relax. 

Post # 11
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

My Fh is a writer by trade so he claims he already knows what he is going to write but I guarantee it won’t actually make it on paper until the day before or day of the wedding.

Post # 12
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

don’t worry about it. he’ll get it done

Post # 13
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Agreed, leave him alone. He won’t show up with nothing.

Post # 14
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Worst case scenario – He doesn’t write anything down, shows up to the wedding… and has to speak from his heart.

You sound like you’re stressing about enough things right now, stop letting this be one of them!

At the end of the day – the story might be different – but your last names will be the same.

 

 

Post # 15
Member
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

My good friends got married last summer and the guy wrote his vows a couple days before the wedding – and they were wonderful and heartfelt.  Don’t worry, he is NOT going to drop the ball on this.  Just try super duper hard to bite your tongue.  One reminder a day is too many.  Drop it for several days – I bet he will really appreciate a little breathing room and will feel more inspired to write them.

xoxox

Post # 16
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@aggie2010:  Just drop it. I fully anticipate my Fiance will write his vows the night before. It’s his vows, not yours. If he wants to wait until the day before, he will. That is the difference between men & women. Nagging him about it will just make things worse.

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