Post # 1
Member
36 posts
Newbee
Hi all! First time posting here. We got engaged last month (June 2018) and since then we’ve gone back and forth on our preferred wedding date. We know we want winter, but this coming winter feels a bit too soon and winter 2020 feels so far away! We’ve even already found a venue we are both madly in love with but can’t bring ourselves to put the deposit down because we are so unsure of the date. We are looking at either March 16, 2019 (now 8 months out, too soon?) or February 1, 2020 (a full 19 months out, so far!).
We are simple people and know we could plan a wedding in 8 months, but worry that we’ll regret not stepping back, taking our time and “stopping to smell the roses” as they say. On the other hand, I’m worried 19-20 months will drag. Can anyone share their personal experiences with a long or short engagement?
Thanks so much in advance!
Post # 2
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
I got engaged in February and we are getting married in November. Honestly, it feels like more than enough time to me, though we are keeping things fairly simple. Also, I’m 35 and would like to be married before starting a family so we gotta get crackin. 🙂
Post # 3
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
Got engaged in late september, getting married this august. So 10 months. I would prefer short then long, obviously. We debated both, but the venue we wanted was available for 2018 so we went for it
Post # 4
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
I would vote for the 8-month engagement. We were engaged for 14 months and it felt like it dragged out. I couldn’t have been engaged and “wedding planning” any longer than we were. Though some people really enjoy the planning stage and like long engagements, so it really does come down to personal preference.
Post # 5
Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
downsetgox342 : Engaged in April, getting married next month! We knew that we wanted a summer wedding but didn’t want to wait over a year to do it. We’re not having a traditional wedding, which does make it easier since there’s so much less to plan but I think 8 months would be long enough to plan a more traditional wedding, especially since you said you’re keeping it simple.
Congrats on your engagement!
Post # 6
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
I had a year and a half engagement, and wish it had been shorter. We could have gotten a good deal on a cancellation at a venue, and I didn’t jump on it because I was afraid it wasn’t enough time. It would have been – you’ll make a lot of your decisions in the first few months, then the remaining decisions in the last few months. There’s not much to do in between.
In my experience, you fill the time you have. I filled mine with worrying over details that I didn’t actually cary about, DIYing centerpieces, and having more wedding nightmares. You can smell the same roses once you’re married and have the wedding behind you!
Post # 7
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
We got engaged in November and are getting married in August. Our engagement was the perfect length of time for us (9 months). We knew what we wanted (type of venue, size of wedding, etc.) and made many decisions fairly quickly (within the first month) – venue, caterer, photographer, DJ, coordinator, florist). Things naturally fell into place in the subsequent months. We have about a month to go, and I wish it would just get here already!
Post # 8
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
We got engaged in October and married in June, so a little less than 8 months. I would’ve been dying if we waited longer: I just wanted to be married to my guy already! I don’t feel like I missed out on anything by not having a long engagement.
Post # 9
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
If you can afford the wedding you want in 9 months I say go for it! 9 months seems like plenty of time to enjoy being engaged, and should be enough time to plan a wedding.
Post # 10
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
downsetgox342 : My engagement from beginning to wedding is 8 weeks total. I found I was mostly done with everything at about 3 weeks. I think as long as your venue is available, go for the short engagement! Why drag it out if you don’t have to!
Post # 11
Member
2024 posts
Buzzing bee
Nine months is fine I think, but you gotta go at a pace you and your fiance are comfortable with 🙂 My engagement is 20 months and I am personally DYING. We never would have done this if he wasn’t deployed in Afghanistan.
However, along that note, I have a couple friends who had really long engagements (nearly three years!) and they said they wouldn’t have it any other way. Gave them time to save up money and have the wedding they always wanted…without a penny in debt.
Honestly, it’s up to you, your hubby, and your style. 🙂 If I were you, I would set up a budget, analyze your financial situation and what you really want at your wedding (you’re only married once – don’t compromise because you’re being rushed!!), and see where you fall. If you think with just a few more paychecks you can afford what you want, then why wait!
Post # 12
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
If it’s between 9 months and 20 months, I would go for 9 months, if at all possible. There are some areas where the good venues are booked out a year or more in advance, which makes a longer engagement necessary, but if you can get your venue 9 months from now, I would go for it. Just book the rest of your vendors sooner rather than later.
Post # 13
Member
1324 posts
Bumble bee
I’m four months into a 10-month engagement. I haven’t felt rushed at all and could have done a shorter engagement easily. I’m definitely not a “stop and smell the roses” type though. I’m more of a “I already know what I want so let’s get the show on the road” type.
Pretry much all the big things- venue, cake, photog, DJ- we’re done in the first month. After that everything just kind of falls into place. I vote 9 months is for sure the way to go!
Post # 14
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
We were engaged in October and married in April. It was the perfect amount of time and, honestly, still felt like it dragged! You make all of the decisions early and then there’s a break when there’s nothing to do and then the fun stuff begins to ramp up! Plus – being off season, I had no issues with availability of vendors — in fact, most were thrilled with the off season work and offered some serious discounts. We’re also older and time was of the essence, as PP mentioned. We were ready and didn’t feel any need to wait! It’s funny, I sit here now thinking “last summer I was daydreaming about being engaged and now, this summer, I’m married!”
Post # 15
Member
698 posts
Busy bee
We got engaged in December and are getting married in October and it is already too long a wait…