(Closed) 9-month vs. 20-month engagement?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 31
Member
3588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’d go short, we had a 14 month engagement and it did drag on. We couldn’t do it earlier because I hadn’t graduated uni, but if I did it over in different circumstances I would shorten it. 8 months is heaps of time once you’ve locked the venue in. 

Post # 32
Member
3274 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m for short. As indecisive people it means choices are made quickly. We got engaged in December, announced it in March, wedding is September. I am.so excited.

For me planning has been really stressful (mainly because of my mum) and it’s been almost a full time job managing her expectations.

Post # 34
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

View original reply
downsetgox342 :  I do think 8 months is enough time to plan a wedding if you have money for it.  We were engaged since Nov. 2015 and didn’t get married until May 2018. We actually set the date in Sept. 2017 and planned in 8 months. I don’t think its that difficult, as long as you find vendors that are available, in budget and that you like. We booked everyone before December and we had a long break from planning anything.

Post # 35
Member
2722 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We got engaged at the end of September and got married the following April, so a 7 month engagement.  I felt it was plenty of time so I vote for the shorter engagement.  We already had the money put aside for the wedding so it didn’t make sense to extend the engagement out.  I was 31 and my husband 35 when we got married so we didn’t feel like we had to bask in the engagement light – we just wanted to be married.

Unless you need the time to save up, or one of you is in school, I think you’ll go crazy with a really long engagement.  All my friends that had longer engagements wish they were shorter.

Post # 36
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Congratulations on your engagement! I may be an outlier here, but my engagement will be 23 months. (Getting married on 3-16-19). We are paying for everything ourselves, so it made sense to have extra time to save. I also got engaged after 5 months of dating, so I wanted a longer engagement. It has been nice to plan things little by little during this time. Best of luck!

Post # 37
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

View original reply
downsetgox342 :  We booked our venue almost 2 years before our wedding date, and officially engaged for 16 months.  At points it has seemed super far away and dragging.  But now that we are about 2 months away I have no idea where the time went!  It really has flown by.  I am so glad that we had a longer engagement becasue I was able to enjoy planning more.  I have recently become very stressed with all of the last minute things that need to be done and I can’t imagine feeling this way for months (which is what would have happend if we had a short engagement).  I guess it just depends on your personality and what kind of wedding you are planning.

Post # 38
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

We got engaged in January and got married the following year in Sept. So over 1 1/2 years. 

It would out really well for us planning wise. We got to take our time shop around, I had time to DYI stuff. My hubby and I worked opposite schedules so it was actually harder for us to find times to met with vendors so having a longer engagement helped with that. I will also say that there were some weekends or times we didn’t want to think or talk about wedding planning and our timeline allowed that. It seems like your world revolves around it and having breaks and just “us” time helped it seem enjoyable and stress free. I don’t think we would have had the opportunity if we had a shorter engagement like you are considering. We also didn’t mind the wait, we were in no rush. 

I think it just depends on you as a couple. You can have a wedding in nine months but you really have to get the ball rolling and dedicate time for vendors and everything. 

Post # 39
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

I will also add that it depends on the area you are in (although you are looking at off season). We’re we live things book up fast so I’m not sure we would have had the opportunity to have the wedding we wanted if we had wanted a short engagement and we would have had to compromise on our wedding vision a bit. Doesn’t seem like that’s the case for you guys though! 

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