9 more days… I need support!!!

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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anonee008 :  Since you work from home, can you take your stuff to the local library or Starbucks? I would just leave the house as often as possible and say you have to focus on a deadline of some sort.

Post # 3
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

I know how tough this is for you. Good job maintaining your sanity. They don’t sound that bad, however I think having any adult (other than your spouse) in your home for that period of time can drive anyone crazy. I love my husband’s mom but I think it would be trying to have her stay with us for 6 weeks straight.
You should speak to your husband and see if there is a way to find time for you to step out of the house and get a breather. Whether that be to meet up with friends or just get some time alone. Maybe he can entertain them when he gets home from work. Or as someone else said, is there an opportunity for you to work from any alternate places during the day?
You’re almost done… hang in there!

Post # 4
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Oh Bee, HUGS!!!!

Maybe start repeating to yourself, “This too shall pass!”

Lots of deep breaths, and be extra kind to yourself. Is there anything you can do to pamper yourself in small ways, like go buy your favorite chocolate, or take a hot bath, or buy yourself a new book (and then hide in your room reading it to get away from them for a while)?

Better yet, is there anything that you can do to get out of the house for a while? Can you spend a night or two with a friend or family member? Can you and your husband go out on a “date night” as a couple? Could you go work in a library or at a starbucks instead of working from home for a few hours this week? Could you go get a pedicure, or a massage?

You need some space, Bee! Also, can your husband take his parents anywhere in the evening, or on the weekend, to give you some down-time in the house by yourself? (Even if you have to fake a headache or cramps in order to get out of going without offending them?)

Post # 5
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Girl good for you for making it this far. I’ve been there with my husband’s family and honestly at this point it has nothing to do with them, you just need space! And that is fine! But, it sounds like you’re at a BEC stage and I will say it’s worth keeping your cool to preserve the relationship.

First, just remind yourself that this is one time and mentally commit to never ever doing this again (this helped me). I second the go to a coffee shop to work advice, even just for the afternoon. Could you basically take a day off? Work at a coffee shop, go shopping alone, get a mani, make plans with friends at night – or whatever me time you need. Your husband can take care of his parents for a full day – and you get a much needed break. You can do this — All the virtual hugs and wine!!

Post # 9
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee

Get out as often as you can and let them fend for their own meals for breakfast and lunch maybe? Treat yourself to lunch and as PP said do some work at a coffee shop. Go for a walk or does your town have a gym or pool? Bookstore? They are grown ups and can look after themselves for awhile. You are their daughter in law with a job and need to respect that. Let them know you can’t be disturbed for a while and shut yourself in the bedroom and work

Headphones with “language tapes” in the car telling them you are taking the opportunity to learn Russian on the road trip? Too rude? Ah well…just brainstorming…

The end is in sight. Keep telling yourself- never again, never again.

If all else fails how about a primal scream into a pillow!

Post # 11
Member
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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anonee008 :  OMG. I could never do what you are doing. Never. I am in awe of you for even trying to survive it. 

I am an extroverted introvert and I also work from home and so I really would totally LOSE MY MIND if it were me. I can barely get through a weekend with visitors. Heck, even when my grown up daugher comes to visit me (I don’t have a guest room) I go bonkers because she is in. my. space and I even birthed her from my body, lol. 

Some folks (like me and apparently like you) are just not cut out for these kinds of visitors (be it cultural or for reasons of personality, family history what ever) and it doesn’t make you a bad person. I try to be honest with people (“I am soooo bad a visitors! It’s not you it’s me”blah blah)  and try insanely hard to avoid these situations if at all possible. 

You are amazing.

That is all.

Post # 12
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Ugh I couldn’t do what you’re doing either. You’re being a very gracious host. They are adults, and they should be able to plan things and go out and do things without you. You’re new to the area too so it’s not like you have that much extra info to share with them about the area. I’d be going batty being stuck with my in-laws for 5.5 weeks and feeling obligated to take care of them the whole time. At some point I definitely would break and tell them they need to fend for themselves lol

Post # 15
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

This sounds like my personal hell. I don’t know how you lasted this long. Next time they want to visit you should send them a list of nearby hotels.

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