- 3 years ago
please talk me down from the ledge here…
As a first disclaimer I should say that I do realise I’m being unreasonable for the most part and that these are all tiny and trivial things… rationally I really know this, I promise. So take my venting below with a big pinch of salt!
Anyway so, I have nine more days left of a 5 and a half week visit (yes, I’m at the stage of counting the half) with my inlaws. This is the first time they are staying with is for such a long time – my husband was sent to Russia for a year so this will be their big visit. We have visited them for a max of a week before at their house, so this is uncharted waters…
Oh and the second disclaimer is that my inlaws are really lovely people for the most part and I dont want to mess up my relationship with them!
So, I don’t even knwo where to start… it has just been insanely fucking hard to have people in my space all the time. My husband goes to the office but I work from home so I can never ever escape them. I feel like they don’t take my job very seriously even though I earn a similar salary to my husband. They keep saying I don’t need to entertain them but in reality I do need to cook and be available to them, and when I say no, they act like they are hurt but yet understanding… it’s so confusing.
I feel like I’m expected to cater for them for 3 meals a day (my husband is a great help, but definitely thinks they are lower maintenance than they are) but we also have to make it seem effortless because otherwise they criticise me for not being as easy going as they are. They refuse to plan anything, and I end up having to make a last minute plan to make things work. When I do plan ahead, my plans are often disregarded and I’m expected to just roll with it, or otherwise be called difficult and demanding.
I feel like they think they are completely perfect, and anyone who is different from them is either broken or wrong or snobbish (depending on the context). Any time I want to do things a certain way, they would, in some sideline “sweet” way, comment on how “different” it is to do it like that, and that they guess that is one way of doing it but it wouldn’t be their preference… every thing I like is snobbish or superficial or unpractical, everything they donis morally superior, better, just perfect. I am sick of it.
My father in law whistles insanely loudly all the time – inside the house, in the streets, in the car. All the time. I never knew I found whistling so annoying. I guess I just like quiet.
They have such weird opinions on stuff and can never agree on anything so there is so much tension, which stresses me out like you can’t imagine.
They are also very frugal, so everything is just the biggest mission ever since the most convenient option is never an option with them.
I find them so patronizing and opinionated and in my space. I hate it. I hate that I feel this way. They really aren’t bad people at all, but I don’t know how to get through the next 9 days without cracking up. To make matters worse, it’s the week before my period so I’m feeling extra emotional and sensitive. Their presence is having a physical effect on me, which I find to a bit of an overreaction on my part, but I guess I’m really just not used to their way of doing and being. It’s getting to the point where I just dislike every single thing about them, and it’s even making me dislike my husband, which is crazy since he is so supportive and amazing. Constantly standing up to them and trying to find ways to make it comfortable for me. It’s new for both of us to be around them in this non-stop way so he’s also been surprised by some things they have done.
So bees, what can you tell me to get me through the next few days with all relationships in tact? Please send digital hugs. Or alcohol. (;-))