(Closed) Attendants

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

mine wasn’t special. we weren’t sure about how big our wedding was… if it was just going to be immediate family, so i didn’t know if we were going to have anyone in our wedding party. my sister called me (we had always talked about being eachothers moh growing up) and asked me when i was going to ask her to be the moh. i explained to her that i didn’t know if we were doing that and why, and she said i don’t care if you have no guests at your wedding, i’m being your moh. i said ok, will you be my moh, obviously it’s important to her and she is very important to me too! i called my fi and told him he could ask his brother to be bm. and then we just asked my sil and brother to be our bridesmaid and groomsman at dinner a few nights later when we figured out we’re having a 30 person wedding, we figured it would be ok to have 2 people and we really wanted them there.

Post # 4
12 posts

I got engaged over a year ago, and still have 8 months until the wedding – so I was probably almost in your shoes, as far as time legnth away. I was not creative at all, and I really regret that now. I just asked them when I told them about my engagement. It was kinda lame, haha.

I did have a friend though that asked her friends to be her bridesmaid through a puzzle. She had the puzzle made and gave it to them as a gift – when they completed the puzzle it has this really cute little poem, and at the bottom said, “will you be my bridesmaid?” It was really cute. After I saw that I wish I had done something creative like that to ask them.

I don’t think it matters how far away it is – you can ask them whenever you want.

Post # 5
1205 posts
Bumble bee

Uh…  My date is 10-10-10 and we asked back in May…  I was eager, what can I say?

I think you should ask anytime you are ready – as long as there is no danger in you changing your mind…

I sent the girls all really cute letters on pink floral paper asking them.  There are 2 groomsmen that are friends of mine and I used the same paper for them, and wrote “Will you be my BRIDESMAID” (then crossed thru Bridesmaid or Best Man and wrote  Groomsmen)  I also made some comment about them not looking good in cocktail dresses.  One of the girls is a friend of Fiance and I wrote her a different poem about how excited I was to get to know her and how much it would mean to Fiance for her to be a part of our day.

Fiance just called the boys and asked!  Men!

Post # 6
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I made a card with pictures of us on it. I have already asked my Bridesmaid or Best Man and my date is close to yours..hehe only seven days later 🙁

I made a peom about if I started getting insane and can’t stop talking about the wedding: hit me over the head with a brick and I got foam, painted it to look like a brick, and put bridal brick for each bm.

Post # 7
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I asked my girls to be bridesmaids right around the 1 year mark.  I took them each out to dinner/lunch one-on-one and gave them a card and a little gift (a Kate Spade luggage tag in the shape of a plane, since we were having a destination wedding).  And b/c we were having a destination wedding, I wanted to really talk to them about travel expenses, time, expectations, etc.  I wanted to make sure they were each comfortable with everything and willing to be there.  I didn’t want anyone to feel pressured about spending money and vacation time on me if they didn’t want to or couldn’t afford it.  Luckily they’re the best girls in the world and they all said yes!

Post # 8
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I just asked 🙂

Post # 9
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I just have a Maid/Matron of Honor and she was my roommate and big sister in my sorority in college and the closest thing I have to a real sister so I wanted to do something really special.

I made her a scrapbook of all the memories we shared together and on the last page I wrote that qoute about being sisters and how she shouldn’t walk behind or infront of me but beside me. I also decorated the page in bridal decor and used glittry chipboard letter’s to spell out the question “Maid of Honor”. The plan was to give her the scrapbook without saying anything about being my Maid/Matron of Honor and waiting till she got to the last page to ask…Well I was super excited when we got engaged and to ask her that I mentioned how I had a gift for her and she asked what it was. I told her she had to wait and she kept saying well just tell me so I finally asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. Of course she said yes!

Post # 10
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I asked mine right away but I only have a year long engagement! If you are sure who you want to have and you don’t think it will change I think you can do it whenever you want!

I copied another bee and proposed to my girls with a ring pop and a card that asked them "Name, Will You…" on the front and "Be my MOH/BM?" on the inside and I also wrote each of them a letter letting them know why I want the m to be with me on my day! It was so much fun honouring my girls I have asked 2, 1 to go!


Post # 11
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

May 2011 is still a long way out!

I think most people ask sooner than later, but I know that the further out your wedding is, the more important it is that you ask women who are going to be in your life for a long time to come. I asked my three best friends (all of which I have known for more than 10 years) and two girls from my FI’s group (both wives of his two best friends). I did think about asking my co-worker because I see her everyday and talk to her about everything, but I’ve really only known her for less than 2 years. I think in comparison, it is way more safer to ask women who are old friends or family because there is little risk that in the next year (or two years!) that you and your ladies have a falling out.

I would worry with an engagement almost 2 years out that you run the risk of having hiccups with your BMs in that time frame. I would say you can ask whenever you feel comfortable, but be sure that those women will be around in the future and definately in the next two years! Good luck!

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