(Closed) Cheater

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: do you believe once a cheater always a cheater?? ( in this situation)
    Nope, when a cheater finds true love he wont stray : (30 votes)
    16 %
    Yep, cant help themselves : (68 votes)
    36 %
    little bit of part a, little bit of part b : (70 votes)
    37 %
    other, please explain below : (20 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3371 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I think it depends on the man (or woman).  There’s so many variables involved.  If someone is cheating in the way that the guy you described is… that doesn’t change.  But a decent man or woman can fall in love with someone else and go on to build a secure and genuine relationship. 

    My dad was married to my mom for almost 30 years when he met and fell completely in love with another woman.  My parents divorced and he remarried my stepmom.  His new relationship was difficult to accept, but he was not a habitual cheater. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1853 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I would say it depends on the cheater’s circumstances. I think a cheater can learn to avoid situations that may tempt him or her to cheat. This can probably be done fairly easily if the former cheater fully intends to commit and be faithful to a person. However, I think if those very tempting circumstances do arise, a cheater will almost always cheat again. Probably the only exception I would believe would be someone who only cheated once and got hell for it. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    60 posts
    Worker bee

    I also think it depends. It’s unfortunate but I know a guy who cheats all the time… and he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. Well he understands that cheating is bad, but doesn’t really care. Some guys just think they’re superior and deserve to do whatever they want, including having multiple women at the same time.

    However, some men just have strong impulses. I know another guy who truly loves his girlfriend from an emotional point of view, but he just loves trying new things (or women). What he said was “I can be monogamous with my heart but my body cannot”. They had an open relationship for a few months until the poor girl found someone who enjoyed monogamy.

    Does this guy Jase fit in the 1st or 2nd category?

    Post # 7
    Member
    1072 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    He will always be cheater

    Post # 8
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    No. I don’t believe that is always the case.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1307 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I once cheated on an ex. 1) I wasn’t that into him 2) I was REALLY into the guy I cheated with and 3) I told BF as SOON as I got home. I honestly didn’t care if we broke up or not (FWIW, my BF at the time was a friend of mine, I TOLD him I didn’t like him that way, and he literally begged me for a chance. I was also 19)

    Now I am much older, and understand that it is NOT okay to cheat, even for the reasons listed above. If I ever felt that way, I would tell my BF before cheating. (I am with FI now and would NEVER cheat on him because 1) I am REALLY into him 2)I can’t picture myself being with another man. ever. and 3) I can’t even imagine losing the man of my dreams and the one who was made for me.)

     

    All in all, I do not believe that “once a cheater always a cheater”, but in this case, Jase seems like a serial cheater who will never learn from his mistakes.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2084 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I’m not sure to be honest because I left after my ex had a physical and emotional affair with one of my good friends. That being said, my fiancee’ started talking to girl after we had been dating for 4 months. After I discovered this, I confronted both of them. Both of them said nothing physical was going on, which I believe since I was with him every day at that point. This was a year and a half ago. We are now much closer, obviously, and I have no reason to believe he is or has been pursuing anyone else.

    I think it depends on the person. Some people who have anti-social personality disorder get a rush out of it and will continue to do it as they are unable to feel empathy for others. These type of people frequently participate in a variety of risk-taking and illegal or immoral behaviors. It’s highly unlikely for this type of person to change as this is typically a default in their wiring, so to speak.

    I think some people truly make mistakes and feel remorseful. I think they can get pass it. I think we can forgive but we never truly forget. The reason I didn’t give my ex who cheated with my friend a second chance was because he wouldn’t stop having the affair. I’m not going to stick it out with someone who doesn’t even try to change.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2084 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @Steph18:  I think in this case that Jase is one of those who get a rise or rush out of having affairs. It’s unlikely he will change unless a major change takes place in his life. No other person can change him but him and/or God. I think Kayla should save herself from further hurt and disappointment by ending all communication with Jase.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2084 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @Steph18:  Thank you, it was a painful experience but I think it’s made a better person today in many ways.:-) I hope your friend makes the best decision for herself.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Once a cheater always a cheater no I disagree. I agree more with “once unhappy, a likely cheater.”

    However is THAT case- once he cheats on Kayla, he will always cheat on Kayla.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    He doesn’t sound like a habitual cheater, he sounds like a raving narcisistic asshole.  Cheaters sometimes grow up to be amazing husbands and fathers.  Douches?  Usually don’t.

    The topic ‘Cheater’ is closed to new replies.

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