(Closed) Circling

posted 6 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m a Conservative, egalitarian Jew.


I will circle my husband three times.  I know some circle 7 times because the Torah says, “and a man take a wife” seven times, and it mimics seven days of creation, etc. I refuse to do seven times because I am a woman, not merely a wife, and he does not “take me”.

I know some people circle three times.  I read that it’s because of this phrase from, “I betroth you to myself forever; I betroth you to myself in righteousness and in justice, in love and in mercy; I betroth you to myself in faithfulness.” THAT I can get behind.  THAT I believe, every word of it.


There’s no reason that the man does the glass breaking, other than it is easier to do if you’re not wearing heels.  So, I will circle three times, and he will stomp the glass, and that is each one thing for us to do in our ceremony as individuals joining and creating this union.

Post # 6
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We’re going to do three circles as well, but I will walk one around him, he will walk one around me, and then we’ll walk one together.  In our program, we characterize it as symbolizing the responsibility we each accept for protecting and supporting each other.  I practiced walking a circle at my final dress fitting recently, just to make sure I can do it without tripping over my dress (I can, thankfully!).

Post # 7
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lucysmom:  I circled 7 times. I liked the idea of 3/3/1, but my husband is very traditional and it was important to him. It didn’t matter as much to me, so I opted to circle 7 times. I was very nervous about it and a little self conscious, but it turned out just fine. My husband counted for me and it made me smile each time I came around.

Post # 8
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I circled 7 times. One of the explinations is that you are building your future home. My father (the rabbi) recited a sephera  (like the chakras… chesed = love, gevurah = judgement) for each circle. As I walked around my husband, I felt like I was enveloping him in my love and buidling up our home. No matter your beliefs, as the wife and eventually the mother, you have a serious impact on the home and the environment of the home. I felt like I was building a strong Jewish home for us in those last moments before we were officially married. 🙂

Post # 9
8860 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

the rabbi marrying us is egalitarian and said that circling is cumbersome and depending on the space, the dress can get in the way.  she suggested i circle one, he cirlce once, and if we want to kind of circle together we can.  she said 3 is very symbolic is jewish tradition as well.

Post # 10
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We are having an interfaith, but mostly Jewish, ceremony, and we won’t be circling. It was one of the traditions that I felt least connected to. We will be doing most of the rest of the Jewish traditions however 

Post # 11
2 posts

My fiancee and I have decided that we are BOTH going to circle seven times. We are both traditional/egalitarian, and value the traditional and midrashic connotations of the 7 too much to divide it up.

Since this is going to take some extra time, we are asking one of my cousins to sing a song particularly for the occasion–thinking of a modified lecha dodi to the tune of Cohen’s Hallelujah–in order to not drive guests crazy (both the non-Jewish and more Orthodox.)

Post # 12
30 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

I circled 7 times..super traditional (but not overly religious) bee!

Post # 13
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@j123:  Yeah I think that’s what I want to do- what a great idea for the song!

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