(Closed) Confession

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I think we’re all guilty of it — I know I am!

I just try to remind myself that it really boils down to the fact that everyone should do their own thing their own way. Planning a wedding has made me realize how political it can get, and how much pressure brides often feel to do things to please other people. At the end of the day, it’s to each her own!

And I love the SATC reference.

 

Post # 4
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i agree w/ saramari..

we are all guilty of it!! I mean heck.. reading the situation.. it sounds like you are right.. buuuuutttt.. who am i to judge??  :p

either way.. we all have to find our own happiness and if he has found his… more power to him 🙂

Post # 5
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I think it’s completely natural to judge, especially since you’re engaged, you subconsciously measure other people’s weddings/engagements against yours.  

As long as you’re not telling people their wrong, then judge away.

Post # 6
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, it’s human nature.  But I think it’s different to judge in this case.  It’s like a judgment about whether a decision is prudent.  It’s not like you were looking at someone’s outfit and judging them.  (She’s poor, trashy, snooty, etc.)

Post # 7
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2005 - Westside Loft, New York

yep. i try not to, but i’ve been guilty. 

a friend got engaged after three months of dating, but this was right after she called off an engagement to another guy.  i was young back then and i couldn’t BELIEVE you would know someone was "the one" after only three months. i was wrong.

they’re still happy today!  

Post # 8
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I too am guilty of judging!  It really is just human nature!  I used to judge my friends who had one night stands, and then one night I had one.  Am I a huge whore now? No.  Ok… I thought it was a one night stand (very raunchy night in Cadillac Deville-classy girl, I know!)  Then he actually tracked me down a few days later, and now he’s my FH.  Hahahahah!  But even I never would’ve thought that it would be the best thing that ever happened!!!!

Post # 9
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I judge. I think if you love eachother you can totally wait, besides isn’t that what makes you a stronger couple?

Post # 10
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

We all judge. Sometimes it’s hard not to.

My dad met my mom in the Philippines. They got "engaged" after 3 days and were married that year. My mom has openly told me that if my dad wasn’t waiting for her at the airport in California, she would’ve called another guy to pick her up. She very much wanted to get out of the Philippines and only dated Americans. Next month will be their 30th wedding anniversary and they are very much like teenage kids. You just never know.

Post # 11
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2007 - a beautiful church and hotel reception

"I’ve never been judgemental a day in my life" – Miranda, my favorite character.

Another SATC quote =)

UMM OF COURRRRRRRRRSE!! why else do women love celeb gossip?? It’s because we ge to judge shamelessly and shake our heads, as if we’re so much wiser. Hehe… Anyways, yes I do agree that sometimes beautiful marriages can happen from uncommon circumstances.

Post # 12
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’m guilty of being judgmental…I hate it and struggle with it.  I try to keep an open mind b/c it’s hurtful and what do I know anyway, but it’s still hard.  To reign myself in, I try to remember how hurtful judgmental comments can be…

When my best friend got married she was pretty young and her husband was 16 years older and people were so judgmental when they heard about their engagement…I was so defensive on her behalf…but she really could have cared less and they are happily married with two beautiful baby boys. 

Post # 13
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I know I am judgmental, especially of adults that I consider to be mature enough not to make (what I consider) stupid decisions.  It is part of being human.  I think that though we may have our opinions that we discuss behind closed doors, it is quite another thing to air them publicly.  Unfortunatley, that’s how we get gossip. 

Don’t feel bad for reacting/feeling that way – it means you are human!

Post # 14
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I definitely wouldn’t feel bad about being judgemental. It’s totally human nature. What matters is how you handle it. If you go around making snide comments to people and being hurtful, that’s bad. If you have the random thought in your own head, and you don’t let it poison YOU in any way (make you bitter or anything), then who cares?

As for the couple in question, it’s definitely possible for them to make it work, but it’s HIGHLY unlikely. "Falling in love" has been proven to be a result of chemicals in your brain, but the feeling doesn’t last. If they’re relying on that to help them have a happy marriage, it won’t happen. If they’re aware that love is a choice, not a feeling, and are prepared for the commitment, then they can make it work. Not easily, but it’s not easy for anyone, right?

Post # 15
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’ve definitely judged. My senior year of high school, one of my closest friends in my own grade level had a girlfriend who was away at her first year of college. She wound up cheating on him (not sure for how long, and I’m quite positive it wasn’t in any sort of sexual nature) and got engaged about a month after she dumped my pal.

I judged her for a multitude of reasons. She’d only been away at school for about 3 months, so I knew she couldn’t have even known the guy for very long. She was only 18. He was somewhere in his mid-twenties. She’s of a particular sect of Christianity that’s very strict about things you can do premaritally, so I figured she just wanted to go ahead and get in his pants. 

 

AND THEN

I met the man I’m set to marry when I was 18. He was 26. I knew a few months into the relationship that I would most likely marry him. We were going to delay our official engagement until near the end of my college, because I’d promised my mom I wouldn’t get married until after I graduated… but then he and I started essentially living as a married couple anyhow, and my mom magically forgot that promise. We got engaged when I was 19, and I’ll be 20 when our wedding rolls around. Heck, I even judged my sister for how young she was when she married at 21. Whoops.

I know a lot of the people I went to high school with judge me for my engagement and upcoming wedding. I hope my judgement of others before me bothered them as little as others’ judgements bother me. We’re so incredibly right for each other and it doesn’t matter how others see us. Judge away!

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