(Closed) Deal-breakers

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think mine are:

Must be able to laugh at himself when needed
Must be open-minded and willing to try things at least once before being judgy
Must be respectful of myself, my opinions, my faith, and my political beliefs as I will be of his
Must treat others who can do nothing for him with kindness and respect
Must love doggies 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Your post made me giggle because Darling Husband votes conservative/Republican and is allergic to animals.  I’m super liberal and we have a cat and a dog!  Our values line up more than you’d think, though we do disagree on some things.  It definitely makes for lively conversation (especially right now in election season!)

Post # 5
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

@CorgiTales:  

I have a few of the same dealbreakers as you do!

  • I agree that whoever I date must love animals and be ok with cats, since I have one.
  • I also want someone who shares my liberal beliefs, and I could never date someone who was homophobic or racist

  • Another dealbreaker would be someone who is not emotionally mature and/or someone who has trouble expressing his feelings and communicating.

  • Most of all, I want someone who is ready for THE relationship. He must want marriage and children in his future. After my last relationship ended because my SO wasn’t ready to discuss the future, this is now a huge priority for me.

 

Post # 6
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Dealbreakers:

-Rude to service staff (waitresses, bartenders, etc)

-Momma’s boy

-Won’t have my back

-Votes Republican/Against same-sex equality/racist

 

Post # 7
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I have a few I’m pretty strict about.

– Must be pro-choice: I am very pro-choice, and I would never, ever want to be in a position where I want an abortion and my male partner wanted to be a father.
– Must value education and be pursuing/have pursued higher education
– Care about social justice (eta- I include in this things like support for equal marriage, support for women’s rights, cares about the rights of Aboriginals, immigrants, and other vulnerable populations)
– Must respect me as my own person, and must respect themselves

Also, because I have a child already, liking children and being willing to parent a non-biological child was my biggest dealbreaker. I’ve dated plenty of people who weren’t into kids and who I never had involved with my child, and that was fine for dating casually, but a serious partner had to be in it with the expectation of joining our family.

Post # 8
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

LOL My only deal breaker was the same as yours! I could never be with a conservative or republican. So judgmental and ridiculous I know.

Post # 9
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@kittyface:  You sound a lot like me! =)

My deal-breakers are/were:

– smoking or any other drug habit including weed, must be pro-choice

– must respect me (meaning not just me as an individual but as a strong, fiercly independent woman, respecting my body as well as my mind)

– must respect himself (including not abusing his body, able to take care of himself, able to be responsible for himself, be assertive, be kind, be strong)

Luckily for me, Darling Husband and I grew up together and we share a lot of common views.

Post # 10
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

Deal breakers:

-Not being willing to give up animals as I’m allergic

-Heavy social drinker/party animal

-Having kids or wanting kids

-Lack of motivation to better himself

 

Post # 11
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Wow, I had completely different deal-breakers.

  • Doing illegal drugs, or dependent on substances (I made an exception for Darling Husband, since he is addicted to caffeine)
  • Disrespectful to his parents/not loving his family
  • Different religion than me
  • Must want kids!  Lots of them!

 

Post # 12
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t have a list of things.  I guess I always thought I’d like to have a dog or a cat but I fell in love with my husband and he is allergic to those animals.  But I wouldn’t toss him aside because I can’t have a cat.  

Post # 13
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@CorgiTales:  Mine were:

-must want kids and marriage down the road

-must be open-minded about religion and raising the kids with religion. I’m atheist, and this is a huge deal for me, I want my kids to decide for themselves what to believe rather then be forced into our beliefs.

Must be respectful of myself, my opinions, my faith, and my political beliefs as I will be of his

-Cannot be a homophobe, racist or be descriminative of others

-Must be open to expressing his emotions, nothing worse then a guy that never compliments or tells you they love you and never wants to cuddle up on the couch.

-must have the same core financial and moral beliefs as me. 

-not be a heavy partier or into drugs.

-must be geniuine, I hate people that pretend to be something they’re not. My ex was constantly telling his friends and family back home that he had all these expensive toys (motorcycle, snowmobile, etc.) and this great extravagant lifestyle, meanwhile he came home from work everynight and played video games, never wanted to go anywhere or do anything.

Post # 14
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

@Lt.Columbo:  Same. I’m asthmatic and allergic and told myself I’d NEVER date a smoker, let alone marry one.

 

Guess who married a smoker.  THISGIRL

Post # 15
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Far too many to list!

I had a list of about 75 “must haves” and 75 “run for its” literally written down on paper. Literally, if someone I dated didn’t have all the must haves or had just a hint of 1 dealbreaker after 6 months of dating, they were not seeing me again! I told Fiance of my list on date 1 and showed it to him on date 3, figuring I’d scare him off! (it didn’t work obviously!).  I pull the list out every now and then just to make sure he still fits the bill!

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