(Closed) Dilemna

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I feel like the best way to avoid hurt feelings is to have a rule that you stick to – for example, no second cousins. When you start saying “no second cousins over 18,” it starts to seem a bit arbitrary and people could be offended. If you need to cut guests, I would say you should either cut out children (yes, people will have to get babysitters, but it’s one of the easiest way to cut guests) or limit your guest list to first cousins only.

Of course, this might not be an option for you, depending on your family situation…that would just be my advice based on the information we have.

Post # 4
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

With family, I think you have to stick to the “all or none rule” (ie either all 2nd cousins or no second cousins, all children of 2nd cousins or no children of second cousins, etc) otherwise it looks like you are playing favorites.  You can’t play favorites with family.

If you need to cut the guest list, either invite no children of second cousins (if they need to get babysitters, that’s life! – plus once you’re about 13 or so you can babysit your own younger siblings) or no second cousins at all.  But you can’t start picking and choosing when you’re dealing with family.

Post # 5
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

The children issue is tricky unless you do the opposite (i.e. no kids, or no kids under 14 or something, and even then it can be hard). The idea of inviting kids so that parents don’t have to get a babysitter was nice, but I can see why people would be conused or hurt by it.

When’s your wedding and have you sent the invites or is this a reaction to your plans or STD cards?

The topic ‘Dilemna’ is closed to new replies.

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