(Closed) Homeschool

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve seen homeschooling go very, very well for some people and very, very poorly for others. It most cases those I know that were homeschooled excelled academically, but the damaging factor was the child’s socialization. If you emphasize socialization with your homeschooled child, I think it can be a really good option-especially if you don’t live in a good public school district and don’t have the money for private schools, but if you don’t the effects can be absolutely damning in my opinion. Two examples in particular the childen weren’t well socialized and didn’t do well once they were on their own because they didn’t know how to behave in a group of their peers. 


Post # 4
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No, but I’ve worked with a lot of homeschooled kids and have a bunch of friends who were. Done well, it’s great. It can be done poorly, but that’s the way with anything. I agree with MissHobbit on the damaging effects of lack of socialization, I’ve definitely seen that too.

I think that if I were ever to do it (which I probably won’t–I’m not a great teacher), I would make sure to take the kids on many many different outings and to engage their learning in practical, hands-on ways. It can really broaden a students’ horizons that way. The best example of homeschooling I saw was some kids at a farm I worked on; their parents had them helping with farm operations during part of the day, and learning more traditional lessons during another part. They even had control over some (small) aspects of the farm, and it seemed that the responsibility was a great learning tool for them. They got together regularly with other homeschooled kids in the area too, and the farm was open to school tours so they were always meeting other kids.

Post # 5
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

The people I know who were homeschooled but also part of a bigger “Home School Association” turned out the most “normal”. The people who were home schooled got together, had things like choir, theater, even dances/prom. Some of the ones who were home schooled and had almost no interaction outside their family got to university and had ZERO social skills. Crazy smart, but no one knew how to interact with them. It depends a lot on the parents I think. 

Post # 6
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I was homeschooled! Like PP have said it can go either very well or very badly.
My sister and I are lucky in that our mom, while focusing on academics, really emphasized us being properly socialized. We were involved in so many different things that we couldn’t help being around other kids all of the time and being just as, if not more, social than our peers. It worked very well for us because my dad has a job where he travels quite a bit and because we were homeschooled we traveled to almost 30 states before we were teenagers. My mom incorporated “lessons” into the trips we were taking. When we were in Philadelphia we learned about the liberty bell, signing of the declaration of independence, etc.
My parents gave my sister and I the choice of whether or not we wanted to go to high school or be homeschooled through. I chose to go and I attended a private Catholic high school. I loved it. I did find that I was ahead of most of my peers academically and, in order to be challenged, I took quite a few honors or AP classes and finished high school with quite a few college credits already from the AP classes and I also participated in varsity sports.
My sister went for her freshman year and then decided to go back to homeschooling just because it fit her personality more.
When we were younger my parents had us very involved in different homeschooling groups and I have definitely seen the other side. There are some instances where the “schooling” part is almost completely ignored and the kids just have free time all of the time or other cases where they have no idea how to act properly around other people.
I think if done right it can be a wonderful experience. My sister and I had so many opportunities because of our homeschooling and we are also very close with each other and with our mom because we spent so much time together. Most people are surprised when they find out I’m homeschooled and, because of the image that most people see of homeschoolers, I usually take that as a compliment!
I’m sorry this is so long!!

Post # 7
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I was homeschooled (after 4 years in public school.)  I graduated at 15, and got a full-ride merit-based scholarship (which I kept for the full term of 4 years.)  The only classes that gave me a hard time were ones with the teacher who asked loads of trick questions and graded on a curve… based on the fact that everyone passed his first test.  Provided the child has some sort of social contact (I didn’t from 6th to 12th grades), it is, in my opinion, THE best option.  I had incentives for studying as hard as possible – aside from core classes, I was allowed to study what I wanted.  Learning is FUN if you can go at your own pace.  In fourth grade public school, I read at least a book a day at my desk (much to the teacher’s chagrin – she’d call on me when she thought I wasn’t paying attention, and I was always able to answer.)  I was bored out of my mind by 1 PM every day.  

I am homeschooling my kids.  Classes are too big for teachers to give the kids the attention they need.  In my brother’s high school, teachers bragged when they got down to spending 50% of their time on discipline – not a good environment for learning.  Kids are RARELY allowed to skip grades, since that would “demoralize” the other students, so there’s no reason to do less than the minimum.  And since teachers can be fired for flunking students, there’s no incentive (beyond scholarships) to even do the minimum.  My kids will learn at their own pace, they will be able to pursue personal interests (in addition to core subjects), and they will learn life skills such as cooking, carpentry, sewing, self-defense, menu-planning, cleaning…  And that there is never a reason to be bored.

ETA: I finally got some social interaction in my senior year.  Prior to that, I was turned down for a job shelving books at the library because I was too quiet.  I was hired at the same place for a job at the front desk a year later and never had a problem.  Aside from being an introvert and on the quiet side (was long before I started homeschooling), I’m socially normal now.

Post # 8
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think homeschooling is good if done the right way. My six cousins are all homeschooled by their Stay-At-Home Mom. Three have reached college age already and are doing fantastically at really good schools. Their mom makes sure that they are involved in outside activities like theater and sports, as well as CAP and working part time. They are a great example of what homeschooling can accomplish when the teaching   paren(s) are comitted to making their education a priority.

I have also seen the bad side of homeschooling. A guy who lived on my floor my freshman year of college was homeschooled. While he was bright and well educated, he had zero social skills. His mom was one of those moms who wanted to keep her baby all to herself, so he was not socialized. FI’s little brother is also homeschooled. Fiance is the middle child and had a rough time socially in public school because he had a traumatic injury as a child which left him with some physical abnormalities. You know how kids are….anyways, Future Mother-In-Law decided to homeschool her youngest son (10 years younger). He is now at the end of his 8th grade year (age wise), but using school materials suited for an elementary school kid (4th-6th grade). It is sad, because he is not a dumb kid, but his mom works full time as a nurse and his dad is a full time farmer. The kid sits all day playing on the computer or on his game system when he is supposed to be doing his school work. He also has some developmental delays relating to his speech that were never addressed because his mom is in denile. If he had gone to public school like his brothers, I feel like he would have had a better chance to succeed. He is also severely socially delayed because his mom coddles him. It is amazing to see him interact with my cousin who is also home schooled and the same age…Future Brother-In-Law seems years younger, but it is just because he is so stunted.


Post # 9
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am thinking about it… I would like to be able to monitor what my children are leaning.

Post # 10
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

@cyndistar3: Do you mind if I ask what you mean by “monitor what my kids are learning”? I’m just curious 🙂

Post # 11
305 posts
Helper bee

(Sorry for the novel!)

I agree that homeschooling can either go really good or really bad.  I think that probably the best outcomes come from the parents who are more disciplined about having their children study and be socialized with others.  And having children who are motivated to study, learn, and move on with their lives.

My sister and I were homeschooled from the 7th grade through high school – we were in a private Christian school before that.  My sister went to private school for 1st grade (My dad held her back a year so she technically started a year late since he didn’t want her to go for some reason – I was too sick to start school that same year) and I joined her when she started 2nd grade.  I was placed a grade ahead so my sister and I have always been in the same grade (the school wouldn’t allow me to skip a grade ahead of her).  The private school we went to was only K-6, so we would have had to decide where to go after that.

We both choose home schooling when my dad suggested it because he hated the public schools in the area.  Our family was at the point where private high school would have been too expensive to maintain (I had a lot of health problems which took up a lot of the money).  So we could either go to home school and have our parents pay for college or go to the local public school (that my dad was always telling us about kids getting pregnant, hooked on drugs, or shot at).  Since we didn’t know anyone who actually went to a public school, we believed the worst (and were too scared to go) and requested to be home schooled instead.

[On an unrelated note, one of my friends from private school did go to that public school – I met up with her years later – and she did get hooked on acid and had a child while in high school but she sorted herself out a few years later.]

Unfortunately, my dad (who was our primary teacher) wasn’t following any sort of plan for our education.  After the 6th grade, he went out on his own and bought 12th grade books and tried teaching us out of them.  Certain subjects went well (English, History for me – Physics, Math for my sister) and others didn’t.  Since my dad wasn’t able to really explain a lot of the concepts (I think he just thought we would “get it” since he did), the parts that we didn’t excel in, we kind of let fall by the wayside.  I didn’t like Math and Chem so I didn’t do a lot of it.  My sister didn’t like English and History so she didn’t do a lot of that.  So as long as we were studying something, the parts that we didn’t like didn’t get noticed.   Once we started college, we both struggled because there were serious gaps in our education; since a lot of the G.E.’s that we got out of during homeschooling we couldn’t just bypass in college.

We both started at a community college early (I was 15, she was 17).  While we both wasted a lot of time trying to figure out what to study/do career wise, I eventually got my act together and graduated (late at 23 since I changed my major about 7 times and had many semesters where I couldn’t register for enough classes – which was a disadvantage of community college and a state university).

It was kind of cool starting college early since my first job was on campus tutoring other students in English when I was 16. 😀

But then again I’ve always been a self-motivator.  My sister – not so much.  I know she really missed all of the experiences from high school because once we got to college (where we were suddenly surrounded by people older than us who would endlessly talk about their high school experiences) and she would talk about missing out on proms and having no friends.  She also didn’t know what to study in college and wasted a lot of time taking and dropping classes, but then again she was never really a big self-motivator.

She finally got her AA degree about 3 years ago (in Addiction Studies, but you can’t really start counseling people until you have a degree higher than that).   So she’s 30 now with nearly no education, various health issues (from the past 6 years or so), and she hasn’t held a job for more than 4 months in her entire life.

So for her I would say being homeschooled was a disservice because our really lax home school schedule would just encourage her to not do anything.  She was never forced to go to any classes she didn’t like or do well in or have a group of friends and peers to push her to do more.  And as a result she hasn’t done anything with her life.  She still lives with my mom and is dependent on her for nearly everything.

Personally, I wouldn’t home school my children unless they specifically requested it and I was able to afford a good tutor.  I found tutoring people frustrating at best so I already know I wouldn’t be a good teacher.  I only consider myself semi-socialized (and still extremely shy), so I don’t know how good I would be at encouraging my children to go out and do extra-curricular activities if we did go that route.

Post # 12
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I would homeschool only if my child was a victim of severe bullying, or something like that. OR if the way she learns as an individual is better suited to a home school environment.

Post # 13
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011


Agreed it can be good or bad, but I don’t even consider it something I would want to do and as a product of a publicly funded “regular” school and getting married to a teacher who teaches in that system, home schooling is not something that interests us.


Post # 14
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have never met anyone that was homeschooled.

In my opinion, I do not feel that I am qualified to teach my child. Among educational items I believe in social interaction as a part of growing up as well. So I feel being homeschooled lacks that type of education.

I personally would not consider homeschooling my child.

But adamantly believe that is the decision of one’s parents.

Post # 15
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I was homeschooled for two years when I was young (second and third grades) and it was wonderful. It was my first real introduction to science and math in an interactive and fun setting, and those experiences were a huge driving factor in my later becoming an actual scientist. I think homeschooling was a great thing those years for me – it was before the teaching got “technical” and there are tons of activities and “afterschool” classes that my mom could take me to for socialization. Best of both worlds.

Oh, and it really let her teach me evolution from a young age, which I really appreciate now that i’m older and realize just how slanted and faulty the school education is with respect to it in Texas where I grew up.

Post # 16
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@cyndistar3: What specifically are you worried about them learning?

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