(Closed) Hurt

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

🙁 I’m sorry. Since it seems like you’ve already done everything, I have no advice but I hope it works out the way you want it to!

Post # 4
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I think what you told him was the right thing. I personally wouldn’t be ok with my husband going out at night and not coming home until 8am the next morning after getting drunk with strangers. I’m all for our separate nights out, but I’m with you in that what he did surpases my comfort zone.

I’m glad you had your talk with him, and I hope your relationship with him is more important than him disappearing every 3-4 months for a full night. That wouldn’t fly with me either.

Post # 5
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Good for you for putting your foot down. It takes courage, especially when it involves potentially ending a relationship. I’m sorry that this is happening to you, but I know you did the right thing. I hope he comes to his senses and realizes that all-nighters are not worth losing you.

Good luck!

Post # 6
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow. I am so sorry.  Has he not learned about cabs? He definately should not be staying out all night- that would REALLY bother me too… I’m so sorry. I really hope that everything works out for you two and that he realizes that he needs to prioritize you and your needs above his want to get drunk.  

Post # 7
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think you handled the situation very well. Some women are okay with this sort of behavior, some are not. I definitely respect that you were open about your feelings and I hope he can get himself on the same page. If not, it’s for the best.

Post # 11
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Good for you.  You did absolutely the right thing by not yelling and screaming, just making clear what you will and won’t accept in a relationship.  That’s a hard line to walk.  Good luck – I hope he realizes that drunken all nighters are not all that.

Post # 12
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You did the right thing by calmly talking to him and telling him what you are and are not comfortable with. I wouldn’t be comfortable with my husband staying out all night and sleeping in a parking lot.

Post # 13
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That reminded me one day when my brother was staying with me in college..I woke up at 2 or 3 and my little brother (18) was no where to be found..he said he was coming by 1 am..when 3 came and I didn’t hear from him..i nearly had a heart attack..

He did finally come home at 3:30 and I didn’t give him a hard time because I was just thankful he was alive..but if anyone try to pull that again..they would be very sorry.  I’m glad you let him know what you can and can’t tolerate.  Especially since he’s a firefighter..i would think letting you know his whereabouts was top priorities…

Post # 15
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My now-husband did this once. I kicked him out for a month. We had a young daughter and I told him that I would not ever allow her to think for one second that it was okay to have a family at home and leave for x-amount of hours without any contact or checking in. I told him if he wanted to be out with his buddies, he could go right ahead. I would not tolerate it. I refused to allow him contact with me or our daughter. It really put things into perspective for him. I know it seems crazy harsh to have kicked him out without talking about it but for my husband, that’s how it has to be- all or nothing. I feel your pain on this one. You definitely did the right thing by talking to him. His decisions affect you and he needs to respect that. Best of luck to you. This is not an easy situation….

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