(Closed) Nightmare

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

I’m afraid I have little advice to give in that I’m so far from getting engaged I wouldn’t consider myself as waiting so obviously haven’t had any bridesmaid issues.

But I was under the impression it was upto you, and not your friend. I’m not too sure why she’s so upset… That sounds like a bit of an over reaction to me. Calling them seems just plain mean, if it were me in her situation, I would’ve asked you about who should tell the other friends/how to handle if they were upset etc. But it sounds like she’s maybe just trying to cause drama.

I see no reason you should telk to them before you made the decision, did you talk to every woman you ever met just incase it was a problem. I think that’s just a little bit silly.

If this doesn’t get better I would consider how much of a friend she actually is to you.

Post # 4
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

It’s YOUR wedding. You choose your bridal party. Dont let someone guilt you. You had a way of choosing your party and that should be sufficient. I personally have no idea why she is making a big hoop and holler about it. Its not her wedding.

Aint nobody got time for that. If I were you, I’d consider excluding the drama queen if she cant understand you.

Post # 6
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That seems like she’s holding up a sign that says “I don’t want to be a bridesmaid!” And dancing around with it by the side of a busy highway.

What I mean to say is, that’s douchetastic behavior on her part, and there’s no reason to expect such antics would stop even if you DID include the other girls you didn’t feel close enough to to include in the wedding party.

So, why give her an opportunity to turn your wedding into a circus?

If you really want to be diplomatic – I admit, this is not my strong suit – I’d say something along the lines of, “I extended the invitation to you, because I felt closest to you; I didn’t mean to make you feel like you were obligated to do something that excludes our other friends, so I completely understand your not wanting to be a bridesmaid,” and refuse to discuss it any further.

Clearly, she doesn’t get the concept of “invited to participate in SOMEONE ELSE’S WEDDING.”

And if she doesn’t understand that, the chances she’ll be able to behave with any decorum at all on the actual wedding day are somewhere between “non-existent” and “misunderstanding-free communications between men and women.”

Post # 9
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@lettynrobert:  try not to let them get to you. Ive had my own drama with my wedding and ive had to adopt the thought that this is my wedding and this should be a happy time. Anything purposely pulling you down needs to go yesterday. 

Your girls are happy for you! This one wanted to stir things up. Either you lay down some ground rules with her (shape up, stop moping, and be there for me) or ship out. I dont know where these people get their sense of entitlement. Its an honor to be in a bridal party, not a right.

Post # 10
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lettynrobert:  yuck! She sounds VERY immature and selfish. (I feel like I’m always saying those two words on the Bee).

@MR_rosworms:  love this response.

Post # 11
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lettynrobert:  yuck! She sounds VERY immature and selfish. (I feel like I’m always saying those two words on the Bee).

@MR_rosworms:  love this response.

Post # 12
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

That is the weirdest reaction ever…what the heck?!?!?! It’s not her wedding..I’m so confused as to why she would cry over that.

Post # 16
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

@lettynrobert:  

You’re not wrong.  If she likes Roberta and Monica so much then they should be her bridesmaids in her own wedding.  You don’t have to include all of your bridesmaid’s friends in your wedding.  I can’t believe how selfish some people can be.  Nobody should be making you feel bad for who you choose to be in your wedding party.  I would never do that to a friend.  Even if I felt left out of a close friend’s wedding I would still slap a smile on my face and support them during their happy time.  You might need to cut these girls loose if they can’t get a grip.

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