(Closed) PROBLEM

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think it’s necessary to know how to dance! Swaying back and forth, gazing at each other is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. Some of the most romantic first dances I have ever seen have been the ones that are completely without any kind of choreography!

During a money dance, male guests pay to dance briefly with the bride, and sometimes female guests pay to dance with the groom. Sometimes guests are told that the money will be used for the bride and groom’s honeymoon or to give them a little extra cash with which to set up housekeeping. You might want to pass on this if you guys aren’t comfortable with it!

Post # 4
Member
7652 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s called a dollar dance. You pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom. You don’t have to go one whole song for someone. Like we played 5 songs in total and when the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man thought it was apprpriate to have someone else step in, they did.

There will probably be a heated debate over the dollar dance because some find it tacky and a way to squander money out of guests, but it really comes down to what you want to do. Guests don’t have to dance if they don’t want to. I thought it was tacky too, but it seems a lot of people where we live find it acceptable (and a lot of our guests asked us if we were having it) becuase it’s done at almost every wedding here. There is also a garter auction sometimes, but I did a garter dance off. Dad won 🙂

Post # 5
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

I’m in the same boat. I’ve semi-resigned myself to the fact that we are going to look like fools–maybe people will think it’s cute that we’re just holding on to one another for dear life. Hopefully. That said, there are youtube videos that can show you basic steps and stuff, so you might want to check those out. Even just a box step or similar will look better than the 7th grade sway. Give it a try!

The money dance is a tradition in some parts of the country/with some cultures. Basically, the guests at the wedding pay cash to dance with the bride, or sometimes with either the bride or the groom. If you search the boards here you’ll see that there are a lot of people who consider it tacky because it’s basically asking your guests for more money. Personally, I’m not a fan, but I am super awkward about receiving gifts in general. My advice to you would be that if you’ve never been to a wedding where this is done and it’s not something your families usually do, it’s probably not a common tradition in your area. That’s going to make it much more likely that your guests will perceive it as “tacky” or money-grubbing instead of being familiar with the tradition. And if it’s not something people are familiar with, they’re probably not going to be expecting or wanting to open up their wallets at the reception…. therefore thinking you’re just trying to “shake them down” for more money.

I am trying to write this as tactfully as possible because I know this has been super controversial on the ‘Bee, and I am sure you’ll get a lot stronger responses than this one. I’m trying to explain my thought process at least, instead of just labeling it “tradition” or “tacky” and putting someone off.

Post # 6
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you don’t know what the Dollar Dance is, I’d take that as a sign that you probably shouldn’t do one. The Dollar Dance is expected/accepted in some social circles, and shunned as “gift-grabby” in others, and not knowing much about it would indicate your culture/social circle counts it as Shun. Don’t risk pissing off your guests just to get a hundred dollars.

I’m not passing judgement on the dollar dance itself, only the perceptions of it in various groups.

as for the traditional first dance and other dances, if you’re not comfortable doing these, then don’t do them, or talk to your DJ about creative alternatives such as a dance with all married couples, with each couple leaving the dance floor in order of length of marriage, leaving the longest-married couple for a little time of their own, alone on the dance floor.

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