(Closed) Sister-In-Law

posted 12 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
126 posts
Blushing bee

technically, you do not have to ask her, but i think this rule really depends on the family. i asked my fiance’s sister to be a bridesmaid to me (although she’s 11 years older and we arn’t very close). i figure that i would like to be close in the future so that was how i based my opinion. if it would really make you unhappy to ask her, then maybe you could have her do a reading? or you could still get her a corsage as a guest of honor?

Post # 4
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

You say that you got along with her fine before the wedding but not so well afterwards?  Is there ny possibility that maybe you were a bit of a “difficult bridesmaid”?  I have 3 older brothers and I was in all of their weddings as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  When I look back on it, I was a really crappy Bridesmaid or Best Man, I didn’t know any better! 

My relationships with my SILs have been mostly good but there have been a few bumps in the road.  I asked them all to be my BMs (and I asked my FSIL).  I don’t regret asking them but I was a little bummed that they weren’t very involved.

As for Future Sister-In-Law, I’m glad I asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  She just got engaged and although I’d be thrilled to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man for her, I wouldn’t be upset if I wasn’t.

Post # 5
1261 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

If you were friends before and want to be again, it may be worth it to clear the air, and let her know you’re getting this vibe from her and is there anything you’ve done wrong? Because if so, you’d like to rectify the situation. Then see if she’d be willing to talk to you over the phone (if you can’t meet in person) to talk. don’t leave it up to email since so much gets lost in communication that way.

If she opts not to reconcile at this time, I’m a big believer in having people stand up for you that are positive and supportive of your union. If you don’t think she can give you that, don’t ask her and don’t feel bad about not asking her. If she’s not feeling it, she probably wouldn’t have a good time, either.

Post # 6
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Maybe you could sit down and talk to her or call her up sometime and be honest. Say something like, I really appreciate our friendship and love being able to call you my sister, but something changed since the wedding. Is it something I did?

Perhaps you could say, “I really would love to have you stand by me on the big day, but I’d hate for it to be a superficial bond.” Maybe that will spark a good response from her. (:

Post # 8
1652 posts
Bumble bee

Well could you try to take her to lunch and have a big heart to heart?    Maybe you can say something like, “gee now that I’m beginning to plan my wedding, I see how hard it is to do.  Sorry if I didn’t give you a hand as much as I should have, or didn’t make for a great Bridesmaid or Best Man.”  Maybe that will spark something.  If nothing else, you can talk weddings with her..  Perhaps you can get to the bottom of the issue.

For the record, it doesn’t sound like you were being difficult if you waited until after pictures, etc. to add your straps.

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