(Closed) Surprises

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
770 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I proposed to my partner, but I also told him that I was planning to propose. Most people don’t like surprises, much less life altering ones that require an immediate answer.

Post # 4
Member
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

SO wants to surprise me. However, we’ve been together almost 6 years and have been talking about marriage for about 5 in hypothetical terms. SO is very willing to talk about us getting married and details of the wedding, but he has made it clear that the proposal is a no no zone when we talk. I recently FINALLY got a 1.5 year timeline and I think he’s planning something sooner, but trying to throw me off. He says things like “I have it planned out” but that’s about it. He’s fine with me giving him ring photos and things like that. SO told me flat out that the proposal is the only thing the guy really gets to plan the way he wants it done. Once we get engaged, the woman typically has more say in the wedding planning.

I think you should be able to talk about wedding/marriage related stuff, but I definitly like the idea of a surprise. Although the wait is KILLING ME, I know it’ll be worth the special moment

Post # 5
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

I think most men want it to be *mostly* a surprise. Or they at least want to feel they surprised you even if you were involved in picking the ring or something XD

 

I’ve only had one (brief) discussion about the possibility of getting engaged with Boyfriend or Best Friend and was very surprised to hear that he “has a plan”. Naturally I asked what that meant but he was just like “yeah, you aren’t finding out”. Ahurr.

 

I think their reaction to the question is how you know if they’re ready or not. Someone who clams up or gets kind or gruff/unresponsive, I’d bet they aren’t ready and don’t want to think marriage for sure. If someone is open then they’re more likely to be ready (though some men do string along their women this way – not that I think your man is doing this :)). Boyfriend or Best Friend went all kind of soft and huggy and I asked him so I’m happy to trust him ^^

Post # 7
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

@Kat_Kit2000:  haha sounds like a plan! I guess it’s not too surprising that some men will think their partners should be completely bowled over by a proposal XD but that’s not really how modern day women work is it? XD

 

I think I’ll kind of be doing what you plan to – focus on moving in (he knows that I feel a little awkward about living together for too long without being at least engaged) and then if our third anniversary rolls around without him bringing up a serious conversation then I’ll do it myself ^^

 

All the best to you x

Post # 8
Member
629 posts
Busy bee

My SO wants the actual events of the proposal to be a surprise, although he did tell my mom his plan just to make sure she likes it and she thought I would like it (she does on both counts!) but he knew I would go insane if I didn’t get any details, so he was willing to give me a bit of a timeline, which I deduced based on other things he said to what I think is a more specific timeline. Thankfully, he’s willing to talk about wedding related things all the time.

Post # 9
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

My SO wants it to be a surprise, but he’s A) terrible at surprises and B) we’ve already discussed marriage in great detail. So I know it’s coming, and I have an idea of when (between August and November) – but I’m allowing him to plan everything else. I did have a talk with his best friend about SO’s lack of ability to keep surprises a surprise, and he agreed to ty and reign him in so that he doesn’t just tell me about it before the proposal happens haha.

Post # 10
Member
8817 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i knew the general time frame, we talked about it alot.  then as it got closer, i knew it was one of 2 weekends.  i just didn’t know how.

 

Fiance sent wrote poems and sent me on a scavenger hunt through the city, it was the best proposal ever!

Post # 11
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Kat_Kit2000:  My boyfriend absolutely wants to suprise me.  Ring is picked, it’s just a matter of him and his timing.  I’ve mentioned it in past posts related to this subject, but I know alot of the big draw of the suprise factor for him is that I am constantly snooping and messing up suprises he plans.  It’s kind of a running joke and I think he’s taking pulling one over on me as a challenge 🙂

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