(Closed) Uggghh

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh boy.  I’m so sorry to hear this.  Has he ever been to therapy before?  What about you?  Would you consider going as a couple?

Regardless, hang in there.  Keep your chin up as best you can.

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m so sorry he keeps breaking your heart. Try to give him his space right now and let him sort out his issues. I know it’s beyond difficult to cut off all contact with him, but for your own sake, you’ll need to try to do that. Surround yourself with your friends and family and try to enjoy the holidays. They’ll be there for you and help you get through this. Unfortunately, time is the only thing that is going to make this easier on you.

Post # 5
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m so sorry he keeps breaking your heart. Try to give him his space right now and let him sort out his issues. I know it’s beyond difficult to cut off all contact with him, but for your own sake, you’ll need to try to do that. Surround yourself with your friends and family and try to enjoy the holidays. They’ll be there for you and help you get through this. Unfortunately, time is the only thing that is going to make this easier on you.

Post # 6
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

@jenj: I am so sorry you are struggling right now.  It’s not a fun position to be in.  I know, I am there too.  Even when I have good days, I have moments like this evening where tears just come.  You need to let them come.  I keep reminding myself to be PATIENT.  Give yourself time to process and grieve.

Are you doing any counseling?  If not, that’s OK.  Just make sure you’re taking the time you need to sort out what’s happening.  Spend time journaling, exercising, enjoy time with friends and family, and don’t be afraid to lean on others.  No one will fault you (or your FI) for choosing not to go through with this when there are issues that need to be resolved.  Remind yourself you did the right thing, and with time, it will all make sense.  (I need to tell myself this EVERY DAY).

Feel free to message me if you need.  Best wishes.

Post # 8
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

I would be lying if I told you I don’t have bad days – today being one of them.  My Fiance is a great man.  Of course he also had flaws, and some things that made me take a step back.  In my case, I feel like the bad guy, and I don’t go long without feeling like I made a mistake by calling it off.

However, I went through months of agonizing whether or not it was a mistake to marry him. Call it a gut feeling; call it a sign; call it whatever, I just didn’t feel right. In many ways, I had prepped myself for the good and the bad, the choice to marry and the choice to call it off.  Honestly, I feel somewhat relieved that I just bit the bullet and made a decision. It doesn’t make things less hard, but I’m closer to moving forward than being stuck in limbo like I was.

I don’t know everything about your relationship, and I know it just happened!  I will honestly say I full-on sobbed for the days surrounding calling it off (before and after).  How do you get through the day?  I guess you just do.  For me, I lean on people I can trust (my parents and friends), I look forward to taking my anxiety out through exercise.  I touch base with friends as often as possible – and they will support you (I am so grateful for the support).  You just go to work and make it work, and if you have to breakdown the rest of the day, let yourself fall apart.  It’s OK.

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