(Closed) Unbelieveable

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Thats crazy on 2 levels! First, I would not want a child watching other children.  How old is this ‘babysitter?’

Second, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with leaving my child (If I had one) in a trailer out in a parking lot. Who knows what crazy person will walk up and perhaps kidnap the kids?  Is your reception as a banquet center where maybe there is a seperate room for the kids?  Then they would at least be inside right next to their parents.

Post # 4
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Sorry, I don’t see anything wrong with it. I think it is nice of your mother to offer. The kids will be close by for the parents to check on them. As long as the trailer is secure and no stranger adults will have access, I don’t see a problem with it, as long as the child watching them is old enough and responsible enough to watch the smaller ones.

Post # 5
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

How old is the child watching the rest of the children and will they have a way to contact an adult (maybe his mother) if something goes wrong/happens? And I agree if it’s secure it wouldn’t be too bad of an idea.

Post # 6
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I can see why this would make you upset. A trailer will be a very visible object in the parking lot at your wedding, and it represents a loss of control over the vibe that you’re trying to create. She should have asked you rather than just deciding to do it.

On the other hand, though, most couples who forbid children at their wedding past a certain hour do at least consider providing child care so that parents aren’t forced to leave the wedding at that time. Having the trailer there could actually be a huge benefit to you, since the parents will be free to enjoy your reception with you without worrying about where their children will be. One important caveat: there should be a responsible babysitter present in the trailer. Having a child watch the other children isn’t okay, unless that child is really a teenager. I suggest thanking your Future Mother-In-Law for the idea and the offer of her trailer, but suggesting that you’ll offer to pay for a babysitter to manage the munchkins while everyone else enjoys grown-up time.

Post # 8
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

No, I would not let a 12 year old watch younger children.  I was thinking maybe a 16 year old with some experience but no I would not trust a 12 year old with that job.

Post # 9
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I’m with you, OP. I think it’s a little crazy, too. And potentially unsafe, and yeah, maybe a little tacky. There needs to be some kind of adult supervision, IMO. 3 kids unattended for hours in the parking lot of a public venue? Not ok. 

We wanted the same type of event as you, and luckily had blocked rooms at a very nearby hotel (less than 5 minutes’ drive) from our reception venue, and after dinner, the parents took their kids (there were 3 flower girls ages 7, 5, and 5 months as well as a ring bearer who was not yet 2) to a designated hotel room (my parents’ room, which was adjoined to the room of my aunt & uncle, parents of the Ring Bearer and baby FG) for the rest of the evening.

We hired a babysitter to watch them from 8:30pm – 1:00am. Easy gig for the baby sitter – the littlest ones slept and the older girls watched a movie until they fell asleep. After the reception, the parents came to get their kids. 

Worked out for us – we got to have the kids in the wedding, but have an adult party, and the parents got to have a GREAT time without kids. They were incredibly appreciative. 

Is there any way you could do something like this?

Post # 10
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I understand that you don’t want children there after a certain time and you feel like the other children are not your responsibility. However, unless you want your guests who have children to leave early, you should probably offer a babysitter.  I’m not a huge fan of the trailer idea because of safety, but you could probably get a babysitter to stay with the kids somewhere nearby…not in a trailer.

Post # 11
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Is it an outdoor reception where guests could see the trailer? How much of an obstruction will it be? I think while it’s hard to think of it this way now, your Future Mother-In-Law is trying to find a solution for the adults who are bringing their children and potentially trying to ease your mind. She definitely should have asked you or your future hubby first before deciding to tell anyone anything, and you or your FH should mention that to her. 

Another option is to not allow any children at all and then it really is up to the parents to find alternate arrangements for them. It’s hard to have them up to a certain amount of time and then not allow them to be there without providing a solution yourself. It’s kind of like asking guests to pay for their own parking when you are deciding on a venue that does not have free parking. It’s one of those somewhat unspoken rules of things you should probably pay for.

It definitely agree that it’s pretty unbelievable of asking a 12 year old to be in charge, I would be very upset about that, especially since she suggested that the 12 year old watch your 2 year old.  But don’t get hung up on that detail, the 12 year old should also be watched by a babysitter along with the other kids if you decide to have kids for part of your reception that later turns into an adults only reception. Just my opinion, as always, it’s your wedding, and you need to decide what’s worth some fuss and what’s not.

Post # 12
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think this is BRILLIANT if you don’t want any kids.

You know all those people who RSVP their kids when their kids are not invited? All YOU have to do is call them back and say, “Oh, well, the reception isn’t kid-friendly, but Muffy’s 11-year-old will be watching all the other kids in my mom’s trailer out in the parking lot, so your precious little ones can hang with them.”

Trust me, they won’t bring their kids.

Post # 13
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ya that isn’t a good idea! Maybe you can talk to her and tell her that the kids need to be in the same area within eye sight of their parents. That maybe she can help you put together an activity table for the kids to play at. Maybe you can get some of the parents on your side and tell her that they agreed they would like the kids in eyesight. 

Post # 14
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Does this 12 year old have baby-sitting experience? At that point in my life, I was a regular sitter for 5 children. My brother regularly watching kids at that age as well. While I would be worried about the security of the trailer, I wouldn’t necessarily doubt the 12 year old’s capability, provided there are only 3 children or so.

Post # 15
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I may have misread your post, but personally, I think it is tack to invite kids to your wedding and then essentially kick them (and their caretakers) out by 8 or 9pm.  I think the solution is to not invite kids at all, and if these people want to come to your wedding they will have to find other arrangements.  I think asking people to leave at a particular time is rude.

I see your point about not wanting a visible trailer in the parking lot, but can’t it somehow be hidden?  I don’t know how big the parking lot is… maybe people won’t even notice.  I was a regular babysitter of two young children when I was 12 (one of them an infant) and also provided care for an elderly woman.  Especially when there are adults that the 12 year old can easily contact, I don’t see this as a problem.

Post # 16
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would go with just not inviting kids. People can find a babysitter ahead of time for the night if they want to go. I think that just makes it easier on everyone.

The topic ‘Unbelieveable’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors