(Closed) WHAT

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t get it..what is she mad about?

Post # 6
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t see why she is upset. There’s nothing wrong with asking for people to help pay for your honeymoon instead of buying you stuff for your house…and it seems like you had forgotten, then remembered and said the reason out loud.  But, just because you don’t understand why she’s upset, still doesn’t negate the fact that she’s upset. Simply try talking with her about it.

Post # 8
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I can see how what you said could have come off as offensive, depending on how you said it, or how she heard it. Like when I first read it, it seemed a little condescending to me. Obviously that is not how you meant it, so as long as you explained that to her I don’t think you should feel bad about the situation. It was a misunderstanding and hopefully she will see that and get over it.

Post # 9
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

hmm i am confused as to why she is mad. it seems like you just stated a fact. “Oh, thats right you are going to do a website where people can help pay for the honeymoon”– is a fact. Is she ashamed or something?

Post # 10
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I can understand why she might be sensitive about the topic, since people have different views about the appropriateness of honeymoon registries.  So I can understand why she might have been offended, but you have apologized for unintentionally hurting her feelings.  She should have forgiven you, especially since you really didn’t do anything wrong.  I’m sorry that you are in this situation.  I would give her some time and hopefully she will come to her senses. 

Post # 11
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I can see why she would be upset too. If you’re paying for your own honeymoon and you say that to another person it’s a bit condescending. Even if you didn’t mean any harm it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. I think since you’ve already apologized, you should just give her some space. 

Post # 12
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Obviously we can’t get a sense of your tone of voice when you said it.  I believe you didn’t mean anything by it.  But I can see why she might have been a little offended.  She was probably sensitive like professorbee mentioned.  I can see that.  Maybe her mom told her doing the Honeymoon registry is tacky or something.

I do think, if you’ve apologized, she should get over it.  Have you tried telling her the part you posted to us, about thinking her idea is actually great?  That might help her believe your apology is sincere. 

Other than that, I think it’s going overboard to keep holding this against you.  Maybe just give her a little space to be grumpy.

Post # 13
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I’m doing a honeymoon registry and have gotten some flack for it from more traditional relatives, which makes me very sensitive to the subject. She might have thought you were also picking on her for making that choice. I would maybe write her an email where you not only apologize a final time, but explain that you understand why she would be upset (i.e. “some people take a negative view of honeymoon registries, so I understand why you would take my comment to mean that I did as well.”) 

It sucks to have to apologize so much for a misunderstanding, but maybe try one more time. If she’s still mad, I think you just have to let it go – you’ve done your part, and if she’s a real friend, she should be able to talk through misunderstandngs.

Post # 15
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

i agree with the PP – i can see that she may have felt sensitive about it, but you apologized a lot of times and didn’t mean any hard feelings. Girl’s gotta move past it. At this point, it’s probably not your comment, but something else that’s probably bothering her. It’s a lot easier to blame one person for something if you’re feeling down, ya know?

I don’t see the problem with those registries!  They’re a nice idea. I’d rather give someone a hundred bucks toward a trip than a kitchen gift if I know that is what they’d rather have.

Post # 16
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Aw sorry to hear that about your situation. Well you apologized so maybe you just need to give her some time to not feel angry anymore.

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