(Closed) _____ seats have been reserved for you on the rsvp? Good or bad

posted 9 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Which is better?
    _____ seats have been reserved for you : (49 votes)
    82 %
    Swallow it and if they bring an addtional person you'll have to deal with it : (4 votes)
    7 %
    Other : (7 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 7
    Member
    131 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    That’s what I’m doing… My mother thinks I’m crazy, but they are paying for it, so i pointed out to her that if I didn’t do it like that we’d have FH’s crazy cousins bring dates. Sorry, no dice.

    Post # 8
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    Hmm, I voted "other", but I’m mostly on board with what Tanya123 said.  I made my invites with the "___ seats have been reserved in your honor" wording, and changed it at the last minute.  The only reason I changed it was I showed the invite file to my mom and she asked, "What happens if in a family of four the parents don’t plan to bring their children, or a single invited with a guest isn’t bringing a guest?  Then you end up with empty seats you thought would be full." Her point is that although the number reserved is indicated, the number attending is not, because most people will check off the attending/not attending space rather than filling in a number.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    Ugh, honestly, I have never been a fan of this approach – it just feels very in your face.  I didn’t do this, and had no problems with people thinking more people were invited than actually were (and we used only outside envelopes, no inners).  I would prefer to deal with it case by case. 

    That said, apparently in some circles people just don’t get it, so you have to use this kind of tactic – so if you think that is your guest list, I think your wording is good 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    271 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I’m doing the same type of thing. I don’t think its tacky at all- its basically telling the person this is how many people you can bring, that way they don’t show up with the extra people and there is no confusion. Anything that can lessen confusion for guests and reduce stress on the bride is good in my opinion

    Post # 12
    Member
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I think your wording is great, I’m doing the same thing as well.  I don’t want to risk any confusion for my guests (nor do I want to pay for extra uninvited guests!) – the clearer it can be, the better IMO. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2681 posts
    Sugar bee

    It is not tacky, I am doing the same thing simply because the invitations we chose do not come with an inner and outer envelope.  I would have prefered the inner envelope to write the names of everyone invited.  Because we cant do that, at least this way it takes the confusion out of if people are able to bring a date, if kids are invited, etc.  My format is a PDF but it says

    The courtesy of a reply is requested by June 1, 2009

    M__________________________

    We have reserved _____ seats in your honor

    _____ Accepting with pleasure

    _____ Declines with regret

    Post # 14
    Member
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I’m doing this on my RSVP cards. I don’t think my guests will be so clueless as to just bring someone who isn’t specifically invited and those who wanted to know about a plus one asked us personally, but I figure it can’t really hurt just in case =). We’re having a wedding in our hometown — about 80% of the guests will be from the area or in the area, and the remainder is our Out of Town family who have already confirmed they’d be coming so we’re expecting very few not attendings. In light of that we really can’t afford to have surprise guests showing up at the wedding and putting us over capacity.

    Post # 15
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I’m worried about this for our wedding also and was just thinking about this. I know it might be a pain, but what if you listed each guests name seperately on the RSVP with a box next to it for them to mark whether each person is attending. For example,

     Bob Smith __ accepts   ___ regrets

     Susie Smith ___ accepts ___ regrets

    To me it’s a little less in your face (but maybe that’s just me). This would also end any possibility that if Bob couldn’t attend Susie would invite her friend Sally in his place since clearly only those 2 are invited.

    Post # 16
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee

    I agree "___ seats have been reserved in your honor" works better at the top of the form.

    I’ve seen RSVP forms that in addition to the wording above have

     M__________________ accepts with honor

    M_________________________ declines with regret

    so that you know exactly who is attending and who is declining.

    Post # 17
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    We definitely wanted to put the number of reserved seats.  Since I did my invitations i actually printed the number myself.  Mostly were all "2".  

    We have reserved 2 seat(s) in your honor

    Name(s) ______________________

                 ______________________

                ___ Accepts with Pleasure

                ___ Declines with Regret 

     

    Post # 18
    Member
    398 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2009

    Honestly, I think the RSVP is challenging enough to for those who don’t know the etiquette, let alone with additional fill in the blanks.  I think I would just deal with it on a case by case basis.

    Post # 19
    Member
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club

    Just wanted to put in one more vote for the "number of seats" thing. Ours will say, "___ seats have been reserved in your honor." I think the "in your honor" thing softens it a little.

    My family has a long history of wedding crashing by distant relatives. I don’t want to be mean, but I do need to be up front and firm on this. We just can’t afford unexpected people! 

    Post # 20
    Member
    297 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2008

    We did the "__ of __ guest(s) will attend" and people responded to it pretty well. My friends who were previously married wanted to know why they didn’t think of that, as it saves a lot of angst.

    Good luck!

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