(Closed) A and B List??

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
12956 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We have not sent out Save-The-Date Cards or invitations yet, but we have divided the list into A and B. 

We are only sending Save-The-Date Cards to the A List…basically because if they all respond yes, we won’t be inviting people on the B list.  You can’t send a STD to a person who isn’t going to get a formal invitation.  We will send out invitiations to B list peoples after we start getting “no” responses from the A list people.

Does that make sense??

Post # 4
Member
29 posts
Newbee

If you send them a STD then you have to send them an invite. Simple.

Post # 5
Member
29 posts
Newbee

As abbie017 said: “basically because if they all respond yes, we won’t be inviting people on the B list.  You can’t send a STD to a person who isn’t going to get a formal invitation”

Spot on.

Post # 7
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have been wondering the same thing!  We are planning to send Save-The-Date Cards to our A list only (about 135 invitees, and we are hoping for 120 guests).  If we start hearing back that lots of people can’t make it, we may send Save-The-Date Cards to some of the B list (about 35 invitees).  Otherwise we’ll wait for formal declines from our A list before sending any invitations to the B list.  Does that make sense???

Post # 8
Member
29 posts
Newbee

Please tell me this post is TTP.

OP: As you have sent out your Save-The-Date Cards, everyone who got one must receive an invite. Come on people!

Post # 9
Member
29 posts
Newbee

@LittleRiver:

And what happens when your ‘B’ list realize that they aren’t ‘A’ list? It’s inevitable and very rude.

Post # 10
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MyAlterEgo: it’s good that you aren’t over-reacting? We all have questions about this process, please respect each person’s level of knowledge regarding these things.  Please try and remember that’s the reason we’re all here, for advice, so let’s just lend it and not get harsh

Post # 11
Member
29 posts
Newbee

@Aisling10: “please respect each person’s level of knowledge”

Sure! No problems! I mean, if sensible people won’t tell them that ‘A’ and ‘B’ lists are really bad ettiqute then who will? It’s not their guests fault that their ‘level of knowledge’ is substandard, so I’m really trying to help. This isn’t harsh; in six months when OP starts getting repercussions from her tiered guest list, she’ll know what harsh is.

Peace out!

Post # 12
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MyAlterEgo: agreed.  Just be nice about it.  If you want help down the road, don’t expect people you’ve been snotty too to respond.

Post # 13
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Soon2BeMrsPea: I don’t see anything wrong with an A or B list. How the economy is right now I know how it feels not inviting everyone you like to have. You and Fiance immediate family of course those are people on the A list, these are the people you completely can’t live without being there (I can’t see a B list disputing this). You have a B list of people you want there, you are hurt if not there but the day still will go on and still have fun. At the end of the day this is your day and you set your our rules.

So, yes send A list save the dates first. If you start to get declines send to B list.

Post # 14
Member
29 posts
Newbee

@Aisling10: Trust me, this is nice! (I honestly value the WB community after being a LTL – but, FTR, it should have been “you’ve been snotty to to respond”)

Post # 15
Member
8279 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Are the guests really going to be comparing their postmarks at the wedding? I kind of doubt that. Even if I was a “B list” guest at a wedding I would always assume the family comes first, and not everyone has an unlimited budget and venue.

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