A & B Guest Lists?!

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Hi there. Yes, we have an A list and a *very* short B list. Our venue is relatively small (a 1922 steamship), and we’re holding a seated meal on board right after the ceremony. We are having our wedding in our city, but none of our relatives live anywhere near here, and are spread across about 4 different corners of the U.S. So, of course they’re all on our A list. We expect that not all of them will be able to attend because of the travel time and expense. So, we’ve got a small B list that is predominantly close-ish friends who live in our city or within a half-day drive. That way, they won’t be inconvenienced by getting an invitation a bit later than the people on the A list. We’re also sending our invites out 5 months in advance (save the dates went out a year in advance), so we hope to get some RSVPs a littler early in order to start reconciling our A and B lists. Hope that was helpful! My strongest advice would be to keep the B list as short as possible.

Post # 3
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We did. We had a hard cut at 100 people due to budget and venue size so we had to make some hard decisions. I think B lists are fine as long as you are smart and don’t let people know they are B list.

Send out your invites earlier than suggested so you have time to get RSVPs and send to your B list without it looking like they are a B list. Also prepare extra RSVP cards with updated deadlines. It’s really obvious when you see a deadline of 1 or 2 weeks away, or even a deadline that’s passed. Start sending them out as soon as you get declines, so make your B list in order of priority.

 

Post # 4
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee

No and I don’t think “B” lists are a good idea.  But a piece of advice I do have is that we only sent Save the Dates to people who we really wanted to Save the Date.  We also had our wedding on a Friday knowing full well that would cause a few more people to decline. 

Post # 5
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Just make sure your B listers don’t know any of your A listers, so they don’t realize they were invited several weeks later than everyone else!

Post # 6
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Yeah we have a B List. Everyone on it are people like work friends, second cousins, people who are only close with either me or fiance, etc. I guess most of them have figured out that they’re not invited, but that if we have space last minute we can accomodate them. Fiance and I have a running list of people and when we’re really close to the date we’ll figure it out whether or not we can have them. No pretense about it. Don’t try to pretend like they just didn’t get their invite, that’s petty and dishonest. Give them the truth, people will respect it. 

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