(Closed) A back handed compliment

posted 9 years ago in Fitness
Post # 3
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

ejs,
WOW. That is really mean and spiteful what they are saying behind your back. Personally, I would not take it as a compliment! You worked hard to be where you are! Ugh. They are just jealous that you look good and they don’t! Try your best to ignore them. :::hugs::::

From the other end of the spectrum….I have skinny genes (which also means lack of shape & body & boobs to fill out that beautiful gown I’m going to buy. hehe) and I can eat A LOT. I always kid that people must think I eat and then go barf in the toilet. Sometimes I do feel like people say that behind my back. And honestly, I don’t! I’ve been told when I hit 30 it will all go downhill and I will be a fat, old, bald chinese lady; only kiddingly of course. Hahahah.

Post # 4
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

just ignore it.  they’re all probably very jealous of the things you have that they probably don’t.  as much as you don’t want to hear this, you’re young and they probably just don’t have anything better to do/talk about.  congrats on your weight loss…

Post # 5
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club

Sounds like you have some mean (& possibly immature) friends.

I have a really big bust; I remember the rumor in 7th grade was that I had stuffed my bra. The other rumor was that I wore white shirts all the time (I wasn’t a very creative dresser) so the boys could see through them. (?!) Boys were the last people on earth I wanted attention from! I wanted to run and hide from everyone, I was so self conscious. But people harp on things and create rumors. Gossip sucks! 🙁

Post # 6
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

So these are girls who you knew in college but weren’t really friends with?  I agree that it doesn’t seem like a compliment at all.  But  I guess you could take it to mean that they at least really think your tummy looks flat.  But I also agree that it sounds like they are jealous.

Enjoy your hard work.  Forget them.

Post # 7
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That’s exactly right!  It is a compliment.  Maybe you should write them a thank you note for being so sweet and admiring your physique.  Remind them that it was done by sheer effort and then invite them to tell you what they’ve been up to since college.  I’d love to see their fat faces when they got that note. 

Oh, excuse me….that was uncooth.  😉

Post # 8
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ha..I LOOOVE these backhanded compliments.  I just turned 40 last week and I got a few from some women at work (not my coworkers).  One said "wow..you don’t look LIKE 40".  I said "what does that look like?"  She said "well you know..out of shape, tired looking..frumpy."  I said "wow.  guess I’m either a mutant or on the brink of needing to rush out and buy a girdle and use my 401k for a facelift or something!"

I had another ask me "are you really considering having a baby after you remarry?  I sure wouldn’t at THAT age."

It pissed me off.  I told her we were open minded and that my internal organs were better than most 30 year olds..and twenty somethings.  I’m nowhere near menopause and very well indeed internally.

I just think some people are simply unhappy and want YOU to be happy especially if you have alot going RIGHT in your life..they see you happy, in love, glowing, and vibrant..and honestly, I think that PISSES off alot of the frenemies out there..

Post # 10
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

People start rumors like that when they can’t understand change.  (Or they’re frustrated by their own lack of it).  People can be so mean.  I would chalk this up to them trying to feel better about themselves by putting you down (even though they don’t think you’ll hear about it).  Immature and sad.

But congrats to you on all your success!!

Post # 11
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Next time somebody says and you get wind of hearing you had some sort of "help" (aka surgery), just smile, stand with awesome posture showing off those abs and say "I know..I can’t believe it either..I look damn hot!"

Post # 12
Member
21 posts
Newbee

When I lost 25 pounds and went from a size 6 to a 0 I got a lot of questions. People always asked how I did it or what my secret was. I think they all wanted a magical easy fix. I told them I was working out 2-3 hours per day and 5-6 days a week. I also cut back on any unnessary calories. I think they were dissapointed that it wasn’t a magic pill because most people aren’t willing to put in the work…..and it’s hard work as you know!

Another thing is that I’ve had people blantantly asking me straight out if I’ve had a boob job! Once, this girl said to me "Chuck and I were talking over dinner and wondering if your boobs were real"……..OMG! I just couldn’t believe that people were talking about my breasts over their family dinner. Anyways, they are natural. It runs in my family and I’ve had breasts since 6th grade which has given me a complex about them.

 I’ve just come to realize that people like to talk and gossip. Especially when they are jealous or insecure. It’s totally rude and inappropriate, but just brush it off. Be proud of your success and what they think doesn’t matter. If they were happy with themselves, they wouldn’t be gossiping about you. They would say that you look amazing and that they were happy for you.

Post # 13
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Congratulations on your hard work!

Girls can be so mean. It will only make them seem catty to go around saying the things they have about you. And honestly, the people that actually listen to them probably aren’t your friends either. Anyone with any sense of integrity or morals would tell the girls to drop it. That if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything. Or that if you don’t know for certain then it is just gossip and that is unbecoming.

 

Hold your head high. You are a success, both physically, emotionally and financially. Think, how many girls your age are paying for a wedding, a house and their college?

 

Post # 14
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Congrats!

I hate to say it but they are probably just jealous! Whatever, hold your head high and be proud!

Post # 15
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would definitely take it as a compliment!  I had a similar situation from the opposite end.  My girlfriend was complaining about lipstick or something, so I came out and told her that her lips look like they had been injected with collagen.  What meant to say was her lips were full and beautiful!! Oops 🙂

Post # 16
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

At least you know the truth, right? I was really, ahem, flat (if you know what I mean) in high school. Well, I "grew" during my first year of college and when I came home my friends mom asked her if I had gotten breast implants! I mean, they didn’t grow THAT much. I just took it in stride and knew that they were all natural. Clearly these girls don’t know you that well and just need something to talk about. If you hang around them, you should totally wear a belly shirt and draw a fake scar where they can see it.

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