(Closed) A bad waiting weekend…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

@allyouneedislove:  How old are both of you and how long have you been together total, if you dont mind me asking? It really could be any number of reasons, from him trying to save up the money to surprise you, to him having the ring and working to plan the perfect surprise to him just not being quite ready to propose yet even though he’s stated he eventually DOES want to marry you…I dont know I think we may need some more details on the situation to better assess. Have you guys looked at rings at all? Also, have you discussed a general “timeline” you’d like to be married by? I’m sorry to hear you had kind of a rough weekend. We’ve all been there. *HUGS*

Post # 4
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@allyouneedislove:  My SO is not a planner at all, and is the worst at hiding things. But he’s doing it and doing it very well. So you can’t go by that! I’m usually the one who buys/plans everything and this is all in his hands.

  The best advice any one EVER gave me was to STOP talking about it. Trust me it’s really really really hard, But I did it. I tell my SO everything ( I’m a biiggg talker, social butterfly is what my family calls me haha).  I stopped talking about it, I didn’t talk about the weddingbee or the wedding show I watched that day. I didn’t tell him I wanted to marry him ( I wasn’t cold or anything but usually I would say once a week I can’t wait to be your mrs. or I can’t wait to marry you) I stopped asking when? or telling him when someone got engaged. Nothing I just stopped. I was the loving caring girlfriend that he first fell inlove with in the beginging. ( I love being like this. It’s so much less stressful) Then about 3 weeks after I didn’t say ANYTHING about weddings/engagement, I found a reciept for a jewlery store. Maybe it just happened to be that he was planning on buying it then anyway or maybe it was because I stopped mentioning it.  Also my sister did the same thing when he now hubby was taking to long lol ( 8 years together!) and it worked! He will even say to this day ” It’s because she all of a sudden stopped talking about it, I was planning on doing it on our 9 year ann. but all of a sudden she stopped mentioning wanting to get married. I got scared and thought she wanted to leave!” Haha.

 

  Ok super long post! I’m sorry haha.

  But I think you should explain to your SO something like ” Hey listen, when I agreed to move states away to live with you we agreed that a proposal would be coming. I just need like a little heads up that it’s still going to happen. Maybe you can give me some sort of a timeline to reasure me that it’s going to happen” Explain to him you don’t want to ruin the suprise or anything but a timeline would make you feel alot better.

 Good luck and again sorry I talk alot hahaa

 

Post # 5
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

Ahh so frustrating. I feel for you. He clearly wants to marry you one day. His timeline and your timeline is just a little bit different. It seems that women are always ready to be married before men. They seem to take a lot longer and I have no idea why. I would try to talk to him again about everything and how you feel and that a timeline would help ease your mind. Good luck 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

I think you should have faith in what he says. Everyone is different and he seems to love you if he is telling you to have faith. My SO has picked out a ring (and as of Sunday, a wedding band to go with it apparently) but still isn’t ready and I have no idea if he will ever be. In that sense, I think your SO is further along, which makes me think he might be planning a surprise. =)

 

Looking forward to your proposal story soon!

Post # 7
Member
901 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry, I know it’s very difficult. I’m waiting, too, though we have timelines. Even though it’s supposed to be in the next month and a half or so, it feel like forever at times. My SO has finanlly figured out that I really don’t like surprises and the uncertainty is causing me anxiety so he’s sharing more about his plans. Maybe some people think that’s not romantic, but I don’t like not knowing what’s going to happen. That part basically ruins it for me. 

Maybe if you told your SO the same thing he’d share more? 

Post # 8
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

Right now you’re still in the ‘honeymoon’ period of living together. Maybe he’s just waiting to see if you guys are a great fit (which I’m sure you are, but it never hurts to double check!) together and will make it in the long run. Just be patient, bee, he will make sure it happens. (:

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