I don’t understand getting engaged if one doesn’t have plans to be married within a year, maybe two. It seems silly to me. Like other PPs have said, it’s a fancy way to make your relationship sound like you two are committed, yet without all the commitment. Strange.
As far as finances go, I’m really not sure what “extra expenses” there are with actually being married? You said “taxes”. But what taxes are there that only married people pay? You then mentioned “bills”? But, what do you get billed for as a married couple that you don’t get billed for as a single person? Having “house expenses” was another concern you stated. But, you have housing expenses whether you are single, married, divorced, widowed, etc. No one is free from that unless they live with someone else who allows them to be there rent-free for some reason. If you are trying to say that you two can’t afford having an actual house yet, then don’t get a house. I’m not sure why so many people think you have to get a house once you’re married. You don’t. In fact, lots of married people don’t own houses (me and my husband included). It’s not something you should use as an excuse not to get married. As for “etc”, I’m not sure what other expenses there are that only married people have, so I’m really confused here.
It sounds like you (or the both of you) are simply making up excuses not to get married – whether that’s married now or married ever. But, I’m leaning towards the “never” end of that spectrum because your “fiancé” doesn’t even believe in marriage (but really, what is there not to believe in? It’s a real thing, not Tinkerbell) … which again makes me so confused as to why you two are even “engaged”.
This is just strange. I’m sorry, but it is.
If marriage is something you really want, then you need to leave this guy, do some maturing for a while, find a man who is on the same page as you, and then see where things go from there. Stop the excuses, stop the imaginary obstacles, do a good deal of maturing, and you’ll be much happier.
ETA: Just saw that you are now realizing you have to start over. Good for you. Will it be easy? Nope. Will it be worth it? Yep!