(Closed) A bit disappointed

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I totally understand where you’re coming from having been in the same situation in my last relationship. Here’s what I learned: you can’t “scare” a man who understands and values the commitment that comes with marriage. Your SO has been married before, so he knows what it entails. If he is legitimately scared, he’s going to need to work through his feelings about his past marriage. I just don’t see how not talking about it and sweeping it under the rug is going to help anyone.

There’s definitely a difference between being scared and not being ready. It sounds to me like your SO might be both. Readiness takes time, but being scared takes actively working on concerns as they just don’t go away on their own. I wonder if there’s a way for you to gently encourage him to talk about his concerns either with you or someone else he’s close to and trusts so he can begin to work through those issues.

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