(Closed) A bit jaded (vent)

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Oh god….I feel your pain! Every time I see or hear of another wedding-related fiasco I think OMG is it really worth it? Why can’t it just be about the 2 people getting married? Uggh.

And yes, when it is our time to get married there will undoubtedly be family drama. If they’ve always been like that they’re not going to change for your wedding so let go of that expectation.

Post # 5
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

That’s the thing….you know they’ll probably be bedgrudging if they do it. Maybe have a destination wedding? That gives them an easy out if they can’t make it.  Or you can just grin and bear it, and try not to care that they have their drama. Let it be *their* drama, not yours.

When the time comes, you’ll have all the other Wedding Bee gals to support you through the process and you can vent all you want!

Post # 6
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think its great that you acknowledged its her big day and want everything related to it to be great for her, at least she’s going to know that she has one person she can count on. I’ve been to plenty a family wedding shower that have just turned into chaos as a result of jealousy, opinions, behaviors, etc. and the biggest difference in all of them is when there is at least one or two sane people who can hold it together for the bride, and it seems like you are that person. Yay you! As far as your own wedding goes I would seriously consider a Destination Wedding. My huge family was a factor that weighed heavily on my location descision, its allowed me to see who really cares.

Post # 7
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

That’s just sad. She deserves everyone to at least act decent. 10 years? Long time and she deserves it. Geez.

I don’t know what to suggest to you. I know myself, I plan to have a destination wedding for just that reason. One side of my family is money hungry and hateful and right now I have to borderline cuss them out shut up about that fact that I’m not married. *eye roll* I don’t want them there for many reasons and I dont have to pay for them to come and I’m not. They can kick rocks for all I care.

Sorry for the vent.

Post # 8
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Seriously! We need to be able to vent about these things…the drama of weddings is almost enough to put me off the marriage concept, but I want to be with my sweety so much I’ll find a way to deal with it 🙂

Post # 9
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My family is totally dramatic like this also.  I feel like the most mature one out of all of them so much of the time.  While it is totally ridiculous and frustrating to be in the middle of it, just focus on your cousin and make sure she knows that she has your support 100%.  Then when it’s your day, at the very least you’ll know that you’ll have her to lean on.

It is easy to feel dissuaded in regards to your own eventual wedding, but the people who truly love and care about you will be able to forget their selfish behaviour for a day and realize it’s not about them.

Good luck with the shower!

Post # 10
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Gosh, the poor girl! Unfortunately we cant choose our family and they often let us down.  I try not to think about all the drama my family will make when my time comes because unfortunately every event turns into a drama!

Post # 11
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

awww. at least your cousin has people like you to be there for her! we cant make everyone happy and it is her big day so she should do what she likes and not worry too much about what everyone else thinks. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh man, that’s not cool at all.  I’m hoping all of their acting out is behind the scenes, in that your cousin hasn’t seen or won’t see any of it.  The last thing a bride wants to see is her family reacting childishly to things that are so minor. 

From a person who was talked into doing a bigger wedding than I’d envisioned, there’s nothing wrong with a smaller one!  Just a thought 🙂

Post # 14
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@jennifer_espos: Good point! I don’t know…I know my Boyfriend or Best Friend and his family, he has a HUGE family and circle of friends. I’m afraid it would be a big wedding. I don’t have the money for that! And I don’t want the potential complications of accepting money from the family. We just have different styles, I guess. 

I’m guilty of stressing out about my own “eventual wedding”, but I can’t help it.  At least my Boyfriend or Best Friend understands the importance of a good planner if you’re going to have a big wedding. Thank god for that! If it’s important enough for him to spend the money, fine. But I’m not going to kill myself over it….

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