- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
let me preface by saying: i know there is some childishness here. this post is a bit of a vent, but mainly a way to hear from people whose situations have been similar.
i am currently on my last legs of being “not yet engaged” i know it is happening EXTREMELY soon because my SO and i had made a deal that we would get engaged before moving in together. the lease is signed and we move in in about a month so we’re definitely down to the wire (which i am still excited silly about 🙂 ). SO and I have been together for about four years and our marriage timeline has been pretty well known for a long time now since it was mainly contingent on SO finishing undergrad and getting a job (both things we wanted done before getting engaged). Whenever my mother or sister would ask when we were going to get engaged it was pretty clearly stated “sometime around july.”
my older sister and her SO have been together for a little less than 2 years (which isn’t a big deal… they are older so less time dating isn’t the issue) and have also been planning on getting engaged for a little while. they moved across the country in March and my sister had said they were planning on getting engaged around April because the move was the only thing holding them back.
well april came and went and my sister had no ring, but a couple days ago she and her SO finally got engaged. i’m a little irritated about it because we were so clear that this was the time we were planning on and my SO is extra annoyed because he feels like his thunder was stolen.
however, the part that is really making me crazy is that my sister (who mind you has been engaged for less than a week) has already set a date in the earliest part of summer, and has selected a venue in the town where SO and I live (roughly 2000 miles from where she and her fiance live).
now i recognize she has a right to do what she wants for her wedding, and I also recognize that i can’t really say anything yet because i’m not engaged, but I am getting increasingly frustrated with how totally inconsiderate she is being. i was completely content to let her go first and get engaged four months after her, but a couple of weeks after makes me feel like our engagement will look like a “copycat.” we both knew we were going to be having weddings in the summer of 2014, but when neither of us were engaged and it seemed like it was going to happen to me first (given the length of time SO and I have been together comparatively) i ALWAYS said that i would take her wedding into consideration when choosing a date.
now the town where SO and I live is our college town as well as the town where my sister and her fiance met. i understand why she and her fiance want to get married in our town, but it also feels like every wedding plan i make is going to have to be a reaction to her wedding. it feels like she is the one who gets to plan her wedding and i am the one who gets to choose whatever she doesn’t pick.
for now i am taking some solace in the fact that our weddings will at least be different enough based on the fact that her fiance is bengali and there will be this intercultural factor to their wedding. at the same time it just feels like she gets an extra freebee of additional coolness to add to her wedding.
i know she is not doing what she is doing to spite me, but it almost feels as though everything is being strategically placed so that her wedding will be first and it will be inarguably more awesome than mine.
so there is my petty moment of feeling sorry for myself. i am, of course, still totally excited about my SO and I’s wedding and ultimately i would be excited to marry the man of my dreams in jeans at a courthouse. it just feels like there is no way our shared guests won’t be comparing my sister and i’s wedding, and it feels like she is getting first dibs on everything. boo.
it also doesn’t help that my grumpy father keeps making “jokes” about us having a double wedding.