Post # 1
So, we recently-ish joined a conservative synagogue with the hope of having the rabbi be our officiant. I contacted him the other day, and he initially expressed hesitation due to my fiance’s current conversion process. It turns out, his concern was mostly due to the fact that he forgot my fiance had started the process with another rabbi.
The new concern now is that our wedding falls in the middle of Sukkot, which we hadn’t really thought about–our biggest concern was not having it on the weekend of Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur. But, our current rabbi doesn’t feel comfortable conducting a wedding during Sukkot, which I can respect and understand. And of course it’s too late to change, since we’re so close to the date.
So…now I’m considering a few options–I had reached out to an interfaith group (when concerns about the conversion seemed to be in play) to get names of rabbis and cantors who would be willing to perform a ceremony. I’m pretty sure all of them are reformed rabbis, so I’m hoping that they won’t be as strict with when they feel comfortable performing weddings. So that’s option one.
Another option I’m considering–maybe having the Jewish traditions and ceremonies, and having a non-religious officiant leading the ceremony. I feel like I’ve read other people have done that.
But I don’t know…are these realistic options? Will our wedding still be a Jewish wedding if we don’t have a rabbi as an officiant? And is it feasible that we’ll find someone who will be willing to officiate the wedding?
Thanks in advance for any thoughts!
Post # 3
I can recommend my rabbi!! He was AMAZING–seriously, we had people coming up to us telling us that it was the best ceremony that they had been to. He’s also very very liberal–he married us on a Friday night and really shaped the ceremony to fit what we wanted. This is his website: http://www.lovingheartsceremonies.com (it looks cheesy, but he’s really great-and married to a reverend!).
It seems like it’s important for you to have a rabbi officiate, in which case I don’t think you should give that up. Especially since there are definitely rabbis out there who will be able to accomodate you.
Post # 4
Oh that’s great! It’s always good to get the personal recommendations. 🙂 Thank you! When I get home I’ll check out his website with my fiance.
Post # 5
I was looking for reform rabbis from the start, but ran into the problem of our wedding being a few days before Rosh Hashana and rabbis being reluctant to take on a wedding when they are preparing things for the high holidays. We ended up finding a rabbi who works for the URJ and isn’t at the pulpit, so the holidays were much less of an issue for her. Maybe the NY branch of the URJ can help you out. Good luck with your search. 🙂
Post # 6
Also, ask your current rabbi if he can recommend someone who might be able to work with your situation. The rabbi we ended up with was recommended by another rabbi that turned us down.
Post # 7
For your information, and hopefully comfort, a Jewish wedding does not require a rabbi — the rabbi is only there to facilitate. In Judaism, the bride and groom marry each other, the rabbi does not marry the bride and groom.