(Closed) A bit troubled

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m sorry that you’re in such an awkward situation. But congratulations on your engagement, and welcome to Weddingbee! =) 

I’d say go for it. Have your wedding! You shouldn’t put your wedding off just because your sister wants something extravagant. Your wedding is going to be relaxed/casual…so maybe you can chip in most of the money, and your dad and your fiance’s family can also contribute. =) My fiance and I are doing something similar, and our projected budget is $4000 (not including honeymoon). PM me if you’d like to hear details.

In addition, with how your sister and her boyfriend act, it seems to me that there’s a good chance that their engagement will be just like their relationship — on again, off again — and that their extravaganza may not occur for a few more years. (I don’t mean to sound harsh, or to judge/demean your sister, but I honestly don’t think that someone who acts like that in a relationship is going to have a very smooth engagement.) 

PS: Of course, there’s nothing wrong with having a long engagement! =) Mine’s going to last 3 years, and if you’d like time to savour being engaged, go for it! But don’t feel forced into it just because your sister is a bit of a drama queen.

PPS: *HUGS* So sorry your parents can’t be there for the official "big day". But I’m sure they’ll still be glad to hear every detail from you over the phone! =) 

Post # 4
161 posts
Blushing bee

I agree. Move forward with your wedding. Don’t let your sister change any plans you have. You are a good sister to love her and not really judge her but this is about your future. You will resent her if you change things. Go on, plan you wedding just the way you want it!

Post # 5
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

First, Congratulations! Enjoy this time, you deserve it! Second, you sound exactly like me and your sister just like mine lol!

Do not put your life on hold for anyone or anything. You and your Fiance both deserve and want this and there are many options out there for you to do for the wedding you both want. You guys sound like what you want is exactly what my Fi and I are doing and you know what I had everything planned within a week of my engagement and since then have been doing fun little things like favors, food etc. Not daunting at all, fun! You just need to look in your area or talk about what is best for you. My sister got engaged a month after me and while we had years invested to her months in the relationship, dont let it get to you. I dont think anyone is trying to steal your thunder and I definetly did not feel that way whatsoever. I understand your feelings are hurt by your parents right now but maybe they dont know how you feel because you sound too quiet about your feelings. Sometimes it is best to talk and get it all out and no its not a confrontation but you need to let your feelings known. You are important too! Good luck!

Post # 6
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I understand you’re situation and i’m very sorry. I think you should go ahead and marry the love of your life. Don’t let your sister have that much of a hold on your happyness. Go ahead and have your laid back wedding, which by the way depending on just how laid back you want to go, won’t cost all that much. And if you are really worried about stressing your dad then help a little, it is your wedding.

I’m sure your dad will let your sister know that she can have the wedding she wants just not for 50,000 dollars.



Post # 8
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Congratulations.  And welcome!  Move ahead with your plans.  And do not worry.  Everybody knows you two are rock solid and I feel the family will be overjoyed to have you two get married.  I hope your sis and this guy do know what they’re doing though. 

Just enjoy this time.  It is your time.  YOu and FI’s time.  Definitely keep her drama out of your life.  let it be HER drama.  You have happiness!



Post # 9
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

First off, welcome to Weddingbee!  I think you should go ahead with your wedding and don’t worry about her and her wedding.  Since her and her BF/FI seem to always be on such a rollercoaster, for all you know they might not even go through with a wedding.

Best of luck to you!

Post # 10
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I agree.  Please don’t hold off on your wedding because your sister comes in and makes a stink everythime she wants something.  You got engaged first.  I’m not saying she needs to wait a year after you get married, for her wedding.  But you’re worried about causing stress in the family.  Yet, the stress seems entirely generated from your sister.

Also, with the hurt feelings you’re experiencing from your mom.  Maybe you can tall her how you feel.  Sometimes I think parents don’t realize how they come across, or how they seem to be favoring one child over another.

Good luck.  Best wishes.

Post # 11
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I absolutely agree with pps about not postponing your wedding due to your sister.  Are you able to sit down and discuss the possible financial burden with your parents?  It might relieve some stress on your end.  Either way, congratulations, and definitely go for it!

Post # 12
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

Congratulations and welcome to weddingbee!

I agree with everyone else. I say to let your sister have the attention and the drama that she craves so much, and you and your Fiance have your low key wedding. Just be sure to try to plan them for different times of the year. So if your sister is getting married in the fall, then try the following spring for yours. It sounds as if there is always going to be competition between the two of you created by her, but just go and do your thing. I’m sure that your parents are going to be super excited for both of you to be married

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!

Post # 13
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Let me start by saying that you are REALLY sweet. You’re almost too much! I can see how your wackadoo (just kidding) sister could kind of overshadow you. You seem like the peacemaker through and through.
You have just as much right to a wedding as your sister does. Don’t let her take that away from you. Wouldn’t that be your family giving into her -yet again? This is your time to feel special. That doesn’t mean that you have to blow a million bucks. It means that you should customize your big day to suit you and your fiances needs.

Post # 14
47 posts
  • Wedding: September 2009

Congratulations!! It’s a weird thing that happens when someone gets engaged, there is usually another couple (friend or family) that seem to get engaged right after. It’s hard sharing the spotlight with your sister, she is kinda staeling your thunder. But I would not post-pone your wedding especially with his dad being sick. Your sister sounds like she is doing the production type wedding, at least your wedding will be about love. Do it how you want and when you want.

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