(Closed) A Bit Upset With FI

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
3355 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Mine. He only picked the planner and the location, after that he was like ALL YOURS!!

Post # 4
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ugh I totally understand.   My fi said ” I don’t really care.  I won’t remember anything anyway”. Granted after I blew up at him he tried to back step saying its bc well be so busy w the day itself but it made me so mad to spend do much time and money and him say he won’t eveN  remember 🙁 

Post # 5
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

When it came to writing our ceremony and vows he asked me why I just couldn’t pick something off the internet. So, the answer is yes. 


Post # 6
10451 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Yep totally, he couldn’t give a crap unless it’s important stuff like food or guest list or something. But I never expected him to – guys just don’t care about that stuff. I love having free reign because honestly if he did have an opinion, it probably would be a bad idea! It’s just not important to guys. 

Post # 7
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Mine is like this. I ask his opinion on ANYTHING and he says “Whatever you want, babe”. It’s really a catch 22 because I’m annoyed he has no opinions, but I’d be annoyed if he had too many opinions. I asked him what kind of tux he wanted to wear, he said he didn’t want a tux. He wanted an Iron Man suit. Undecided

Post # 8
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Overall mine isn’t too bad but at first it was a little annoying. He kept saying “do whatever makes you happy” but then he would complain about it a day later. Now he speaks up if it matters to him or if I tell him that I really need his input/help.

Post # 9
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you might be losing perspective.  Your guy is a DUDE.  Most guys don’t like to plan parties of any kind.  Obviously there are exceptions, and of course, those guys are probably diving into the wedding planning as well.  But to most guys, a wedding is not much different than a birthday or cocktail party.  So don’t think your guy is going to change just because it’s your wedding.  All they care about marrying the girl they love, not about the color of the napkins.  🙂

Post # 10
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I felt the same way about mine.  So one night I sat down and told him exactly how I felt, that it seemed like he didn’t care at all about the wedding and I just wished he would give me some input.  He said that little girls dream about their wedding (I didn’t but that’s not the point)  and that all he really cares about is being married to me.  That we could get married in a swamp wearing paper bags and as long as we’re together nothing else matters.  His view on weddings didn’t change and I didn’t expect it to but I told him its overwhelming sometimes trying to do it all myself.  So when I need help I just ask him.  He works nights and I work days so he makes all the phone calls during the day and then we go to the appoinements together.  He will tell me if he thought it was good or bad but still leaves the decision up to me.  I am okay with that.  even without giving me his opinion he does more than he thinks. He just wants me to be happy.

Post # 11
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

At first I had the same difficulty with my Fiance and eventually I shared with him that it felt scary and overwhelming for me to plan such a large and expensive event on my own and I let him know he would need to pick several wedding projects that he could spearhead to take some of the pressure off me. The first task he picked was making our website, and he actually ended up really enjoying that project. Once he realized he could really make a contribution he started participating in a lot more stuff. But I had to be pretty firm initially that this was going to be a joint effort.

Post # 12
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Mine is exactly like this. His idea of involvement in the wedding is giving me his credit card to pay deposits. 

He has no opinion whatsoever on it. Does not care. It annoyed me to no end originally, but now I just accept it. Instead of wedding planning being “our thing,” I’ve made it my thing. When I’m finished with studying, dinner, etc, and I just need to unwind- wedding planning. It’s my new little outlet.

Post # 13
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I totally understand why that would annoy you. My Fiance has been pretty good but I still need to get the ball rolling or else we would be search for a venue 2 months before the wedding….ugh. He seems to have opinions and requests but they don’t just happen, so I’m left having to actually put things in motion which can be a little annoying in and of itself.

The decision making is a joint effort but a lot of the foot work is done by me, which I get, its just the way we are I’m more organized than he is so I’m not really surprised. But I know if I asked for help with anything be it DIY projects or picking out bridesmaid dresses he would most certainly help me out. Just maybe talk to him and explain nicely how you are feeling? It is his day too so he should be somewhat involved.

Post # 14
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My DH didnt care at first but towards the end he started putting his input and I was happy but guys dont really care about this stuff. I wouldnt take it perosnal. Do what you want and he will speak up if he is totally against something and if not, than you get your way. Not a bad situation if you ask me. 

The night of the wedding my DH said he was really happy with the wedding I created for us. 🙂 

Post # 15
15 posts
  • Wedding: February 2013

I nearly had a panic attack yesterday. Everything started to crash down on me when my future mother in law insisted on something being a certain way. The day before I was proposed to I would have sworn on everything that we would be married off the beach (just us). Now I am ub the midst of planning a 200+ wedding because my Fiance wanted a big wedding and his mom wanted her closest 30 friends PLUS DATES to come. My Fiance is an amazing man and pays for most of our bills, but due to expenses of this wedding, I havebeen putting nearly my entire paycheck away every two weeks for the past year. ANY WHO back to the panic attack — I have always asked my Fiance for his opinion and he always says: it’s up to you babe… whatever you want. My mom and MOH are out of state so he is the only one I can really ask and yesterday I felt as though I was planning a wedding I NEVER even wanted — for HIM who wont even HELP give his opinion. Trust me – i know how you feel. But at the end of the day, it will be beautiful and the best day of my life. Totally worth it.


Sometimes I think every bride feels this way about her Fiance at one point. I sure wouldn’t want it the opposite where he had a strong opinion on everything. Ay ai ai…

Post # 16
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

View original reply
@random7890:  Ha Ha!! Wow. 

My guy has an opinion about almost everything, which I love, because we are planning everything together.  But sometimes…

I asked him today if he had an opinion on bridesmaids dresses. He said he’d like them “to look bridesmaids-y without looking too bridesmaids-y.” 


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