(Closed) A brand new surname

posted 4 years ago in Names
Post # 3
54 posts
Worker bee

@Manth:  I’m doing this. I’ve currently got a poll going on this board because we are down to two names. We can’t seem to decide between them because we love them both so much LOL. 

We are going to do a similar set up where we are referred to as our old names in the invites and during the ceremony, but then after we are married offically being announced as Mr & Mrs “New Last Name” before the recessional. 

I don’t think you have to use whatever your legal name is in your wedding ceremony as long as you work it out with your officiant beforehand. However, what is on your wedding certificate itself will be more tricky. We plan to just have FH change his name before the ceremony so that we both don’t have to go through the legal complications of a non-wedding related name change. Ideally we could both legally stay our old last names right up to the minute of becoming a married unit but for simplicities sake we may just have to let that one go. I don’t think they offer an option for men in my state to change their name during the wedding process but I don’t know how that goes down in your area. But for the ceremony itself, I don’t think your offciant should have a problem with it if you explain what you’re doing unless they are just extremely traditional and against the idea.

We chose to make our own name for many reasons, both personal and political. Taking one or the other’s name is a tradition that is nice for those who want to do that but it just didn’t feel right to us. Perhaps its because we met as kids, and have been together for over a decade. Even though we are in our 20s we’ve had a lot of time to establish our own identities while we’ve been together and we both feel like partners and best friends. We arent into hyphens and for a while we toyed with keeping our own names and naming boys his and girls mine but wow that will get complicated and what if we only have one kid or multiple of one gender? We don’t want the other to have to put their identity aside by themselves so we’re doing it together. I just feel really lucky to have a guy that feels empowered by the idea of creating our own family name and is in no way emasculated by it. Sometimes I think he’s even more excited about it than I am.

We’re going to move our former surnames to our middle names and drop the given name we don’t use. By chance we are fortunate enough to have surnames which work just fine as regular names. His is masculine and mine is feminine to boot.

So: Primary Given Name – Former Surname – New Surname 

Our friends are all really supportive of this decision which makes it a lot easier. Our families are more traditional so its a mixed bag there but we didn’t pick anything too crazy and they do appreciate that we are keeping our previous family names in our legal titles so its not like we’re just trying to cut them out. 

Anyhoo – Good for you! I think its a cool idea of course. Some people get really disturbed by this concept but I think as time goes on there will more and more of us even if its never the majority decision. Different strokes for different folks! 

Post # 3
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

FI and I are doing it. Well, not exactly brand new, but…
Jennings is actually the surname of a noble family with Irish roots that I’m related to. The name “disappeared” because the last Jennings family only had daughters and got Swedish last names into the family, but I have the legal right as a descendant to take the name. There are still distant Jennings relatives in our country to this day, so we might need their permission first. We’ll see how the legal process will work.

Fiance really hates his last name, he definitely wants to change it and I want us to have the same last name once we’re married. At first he wanted my last name, but then we thought it’d be cool to take Jennings as our last name for its (in our culture) uniqueness and in honour of my ancestors, so that’s what we’re going to do. In other words, he’s also MrJenningsToBe! 😉 Fair and square!

(And for those of you who read my rant about my grandma, this made her practically jump with joy when I asked if it was legally possible. She’ll help us through the legal process with proof of relations, family trees or whatever the authorities need. Maybe this’ll make up for our courthouse wedding that I know she’s going to flip out about. 😛 )

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