(Closed) A bridesmaid's dilemma – can I back out of the bridal shower?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I agree with everyone else. You have mroe than fulfilled your duties as a bridesmaid. You should go to your family reunion and not think twice about it.

Post # 17
99 posts
Worker bee

ugh I 100% agree that you should go to your reunion!  I think it can be easy for the bride to lose track of how much the wedding ends up costing for you (since she is consumed with 1MM other things!)


I am a bridesmaid spending close to $1k, and I am sick about it when I realized how much it was added up all together.  I wonder if my friend even has any idea how much money this has cost.


Def go to the reunion and don’t feel one tiny bit guilty!!!

Post # 18
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Personally, as a bride, I would rather you come to one event 100% than every event and be miserable. I would absolutely understand not being able to come to the shower. I mean it def depends on that friendship you have with the girl, but most reasonable people would understand.

Post # 19
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Go to the renuinion! You are out of town, and already spending a ton for this wedding. <br />As a bride myself, I get that first off, asking BM’s to be free for a shower, a bachlorette, the rehersal and a wedding in the summer may not happen for everyone. I also don’t expect my out of town Bridesmaid or Best Man – only 2 -3 hours drive away to make it to the shower if ther is a conflict. ALso, the amount you are already spending is quite a bit! I am asking my BM”s to buy a $50 dress, a $15 petticoat and asking for red or black shoes (so if they hav black ones already, they don’t have to buy new ones.) I considered that my sister is on a tight budget and one of my other friends is a single mom when making these choices. To me, it’s more important that they can spend the day with me on my wedding than to have some crazy dresses they can’t afford that fit some sort of vision. 


I would hope that your friend would understand that a shower is uaually for LOCAL guests, and if out of town peope can make it, that’s a wonderful surprise, not an expectation.

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