Post # 1
Yesterday I was feeling oddly anxious. I was feeling the stress of taking a huge test on Saturday coupled with the waiting feeling (i’m not sure which was worse). Even though I knew I wasn’t going to get engaged on our 7 year anniversary I was too tired from work to even deal with the slight disappointment that there was within in me.
I asked my SO to walk our puppy this week after work (usually my “shift”) so that I could study before my brain is fried for the day. SO called as I was driving home to say he got pulled into a meeting and would be home late, so I was going to need to walk/feed our puppy and find something to eat.
It honestly wasn’t a HUGE deal until the largest bug i’ve ever seen flew directly into my eye and suddenly i’m blind. I’m holding our puppy on the leash who is growling and biting as I try to find my way back to our 4th floor apartment. I am sobbing from the buning sensation in my eye, achy because I ran into the wall on my way back and finally my SO walks in the door.
I completely lost it.
I started screaming (no words) out of shear fustration and told him to get out of my sight. He didn’t understand and told me he’d take the pup for a walk. I layed in bed sobbing for what seemed like 2 hours before getting up and going to study.
Sometimes I can’t stand what waiting does to my emotions.
I know I would have reacted differently if I didn’t feel so anxious about waiting and my test. I want to tell my SO whats bugging me, but since I know he is in the process of planning a proposal I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.
Anyways, just wanted to vent on the Bee.
Post # 3
I think we all have days like this. I guess I am not ‘waiting’ in the same way you are, but it does get frustrating when you want something badly and it just doesn’t seem to happen. 7 years is a long time.
I think guys are used to their girlfriends/wives freaking out once in a while so I wouldn’t feel too bad about that. At least you got your emotions out.
Good luck on your test, and I hope that he proposes soon. If he’s in the process of planning a proposal, it shouldn’t be too much longer 🙂 Keep us posted!
Post # 4
That’s a case of “Alexander and the terrible horrible no good very bad day” (which has been a recurring theme lately for me!) I sometimes have those days where everything goes wrong, on top of the fact that the one thing I want (the proposal), I can’t have quite yet.
At the same time, us waiting bees need to take a step back at times and realize that if we start getting nasty and snappy, the wait is just going to be prolonged bc what SO is going to want to propose when their waiting bee is snapping at them? Luckily you have an understanding SO who recognized your stress level and took it upon himself to help aleviate some stress at that moment, even if it was only minimal.
I would look at the bright side that you know the proposal is coming soon and that this bad day will just be a small blip in your past.
Post # 5
Thanks for your kind words! SO packed my lunch before I left for work this morning. Just finished eating it and there was a note that said “you can do it”. Very comforting.
Post # 6
@Meant2Bee: Is the note going to be part of your “what did so do for me last week” reply?? Hope youre feeling better today!
Post # 7
I was walking into our house and a grasshopper the size of Detroit flew out of my rose bush like the Red Baron and got caught in my hair, so it’s all thrashing around in there, trying to get out, I’m screaming and doing this weird little spinny, head shakey, fast jumpy crazy dance and I finally get that monster thing out, stomp it to death for scaring the hell out of me and look up to see Mr. 99 and my neighbor shitting themselves laughing at me from across the street…I feel your pain and I’m sorry…that sucks….I locked Mr. 99 out and took a hot bath..stupid grasshpper
Post # 8
@Nona99: That makes me feel so much better! Thanks for sharing!