Post # 1
i’m not yet engaged, but its coming up soon! and i know that soon after, ill have to be picking my maids. But i need help!
My 2 sisters, 4 friends from high school, 2 friends from work.
EXPECTING TO BE IN MY PARTY:
1 catty friend from work. She is VERY close with the 2 friends from work [all 4 of us are a close ‘group’] but she’s generally unpleasant to be around (for me). She constantly complains about me spending time with my SO and mocks us for doing normal things like kissing goodbye at a bar.
She has said numerous times recently that she “can’t wait for my wedding!” and said “can you please let us wear dresses with STRAPS in your bridal party? i cant handle strapless!”.
Following that comment, she mentioned how she was left out of one of our mutual friend’s wedding party and is now boycotting the wedding all together becuase it was so rude. She thinks she will never be friends with that girl anymore and was pushing all of us not to go to the wedding or talk to her. Its awful.
I simply said, “well, i’ll worry about picking my bridesmaids when the time comes.” and left it at that. But im so stressed out by the situation. I dont want to be bullied into having her in the party, but I also don’t want my other 2 friends who are her close friend to not want to be in the wedding either or not even attend.
Post # 3
Don’t let her bully you into making her a part of your bridal party, especially since she’s already causing you stress and you’re not yet engaged! Can you imagine how she will behave when the time actually comes? Wedding planning is stressful enough without adding drama from “crazy” people. You don’t need the stress and you don’t need a “friend” who is petty enough to boycott a wedding simply because she wasn’t asked to be part of the wedding party. That’s not a friend at all. Good luck.
Just tell her that you drew names out of a hat for your wedding party and let fate decide even though you’re purposely leaving her out. Maybe that will cushion the blow.
Post # 4
If that truly is your wedding date, I would not even worry about the bridal party yet. So many things can change over the course of two years–she could get a new job, you could, she could change as a person, etc.
I wish I would’ve waited to pick mine!
Post # 5
I don’t think you should even be worried about this…don’t let her “bully” you. You have a couple years before you even get married, A LOT can change in 2 years! 2 years from now, you may not even be working with this girl.
Post # 6
haha, the wedding date is definitely not set for that time. i just entered a far far away date when i joined the bee 🙂
Post # 7
I agree with JenniMichele! I wish I would’ve waited til the absolute last minute to pick my girls! I am no longer friends with the girl that I asked to be my Maid/Matron of Honor a year ago…we had got her dress and everything….and now we don’t even speak. I would’ve never thought this would happen to our 4 yr. friendship but it did (what a mess)…a lot changes over time.
Post # 8
You could make it simple and just have your two sisters. That way you can tell her you only asked family. We’re doing that, and it’s made it so much easier to answer questions, even about the gues list (since many of our “friends” are not invited) When she makes comments about “not being able to wait for your wedding” just say something like “I’m glad you’re so excited, I am too, but he hasn’t even proposed yet!” or “yes, but it’s going to take us years to save enough to even have a wedding, and it will probably be very small.” This kinds of comments will let her know that you may be not be asking her to be in the bridal party.
And I agree, she’s not a very good person if she’s so petty as to boycott another woman’s wedding just because she wasn’t asked to be in the bridal party!!
Post # 9
i wouldn’t include any coworkers at all, tbqh. jobs change, and coworker friends usually change too. looking back at your wedding photos you’ll want to see the faces of your lifelong friends, not the ones that blow through your life — or worse, that you felt like you HAD to include.
Post # 10
I had the same issue! I asked my other BM’s and Maid/Matron of Honor and when she found out I had “forgotten” her she tried to play it off as a joke. I told her very firmly my reasonings and she got really emotional about it. I told her that was the exact reason why she wasn’t asked. She asked if she could plan my b-party and I gave in there because she can definitely throw a party and I knew she wanted to be involved at least in SOME way. I figured that could be her one task and never heard about her not being a Bridesmaid or Best Man again 🙂