(Closed) A Bullying Bridesmaid… What to do?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: what would you do?!
    Suck it up and have her: less drama will benefit everyone. : (1 votes)
    4 %
    Not ask her to be in the party: deal with the drama that she will create. : (16 votes)
    57 %
    Skip having anyone outside of high school friends and family to avoid the situation all together. : (11 votes)
    39 %
    other: mentioned below. : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Don’t let her bully you into making her a part of your bridal party, especially since she’s already causing you stress and you’re not yet engaged!  Can you imagine how she will behave when the time actually comes?  Wedding planning is stressful enough without adding drama from “crazy” people.  You don’t need the stress and you don’t need a “friend” who is petty enough to boycott a wedding simply because she wasn’t asked to be part of the wedding party.  That’s not a friend at all.  Good luck.

     

    Just tell her that you drew names out of a hat for your wedding party and let fate decide even though you’re purposely leaving her out.  Maybe that will cushion the blow.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1810 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    If that truly is your wedding date, I would not even worry about the bridal party yet. So many things can change over the course of two years–she could get a new job, you could, she could change as a person, etc.

    I wish I would’ve waited to pick mine!

    Post # 5
    Member
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t think you should even be worried about this…don’t let her “bully” you.  You have a couple years before you even get married, A LOT can change in 2 years!  2 years from now, you may not even be working with this girl.

    Post # 7
    Member
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I agree with JenniMichele!   I wish I would’ve waited til the absolute last minute to pick my girls!  I am no longer friends with the girl that I asked to be my Maid/Matron of Honor a year ago…we had got her dress and everything….and now we don’t even speak.  I would’ve never thought this would happen to our 4 yr. friendship but it did (what a mess)…a lot changes over time.

    Post # 8
    Member
    244 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    You could make it simple and just have your two sisters. That way you can tell her you only asked family. We’re doing that, and it’s made it so much easier to answer questions, even about the gues list (since many of our “friends” are not invited) When she makes comments about “not being able to wait for your wedding” just say something like “I’m glad you’re so excited, I am too, but he hasn’t even proposed yet!” or “yes, but it’s going to take us years to save enough to even have a wedding, and it will probably be very small.” This kinds of comments will let her know that you may be not be asking her to be in the bridal party.

     

     And I agree, she’s not a very good person if she’s so petty as to boycott another woman’s wedding just because she wasn’t asked to be in the bridal party!!

    Post # 9
    Member
    3167 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    i wouldn’t include any coworkers at all, tbqh. jobs change, and coworker friends usually change too. looking back at your wedding photos you’ll want to see the faces of your lifelong friends, not the ones that blow through your life — or worse, that you felt like you HAD to include.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I had the same issue! I asked my other BM’s and Maid/Matron of Honor and when she found out I had “forgotten” her she tried to play it off as a joke. I told her very firmly my reasonings and she got really emotional about it. I told her that was the exact reason why she wasn’t asked. She asked if she could plan my b-party and I gave in there because she can definitely throw a party and I knew she wanted to be involved at least in SOME way. I figured that could be her one task and never heard about her not being a Bridesmaid or Best Man again 🙂

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