- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I was supposed to be at a wedding today.
The budget for this wedding was supposed to be around 40k.
As of the day the wedding was cancelled, it was more like 80k, possibly more.
The wedding was called off by the groom, a relative of mine, as you all know from your planning – they won’t be getting a dime of this back.
Expectations became unrealistic, people were manipulated, and she stopped keeping track of her spending. When it became apparent that she had been dishonest with him about how much she’d been spending, she was confronted, and instead of admitting it, she tried to blame other people, including his parents (for not pitching in enough), the mail (for losing bills) and vendors (for apparently lying to her about costs). The lies continued to pile up, and even when it was CLEAR she had been lying, she still refused to admit it or take any responsibility. The groom, after much soul searching, decided he couldn’t marry someone who could lie to his face for months, and did not want to have children with someone who can’t accept resonsibility for her mistakes.
Not only is this devastating for them – but because of the nature of this wedding, their friends and family are out a LOT of money. It was black tie required – so we’d already rented a tux for my Mr, and I had purchased a floor length gown (required) – which thank god, I can at least return for merchandise credit. Dozens of people had already paid for their airfare too. The registry? I won’t even go there – but I somehow doubt theres going to be a Kim Kardashian-esque donation to charity.
So I know we all have moments where we look at very expensive weddings with a pang of envy. But you know what a 10k dress, a $200 per plate dinner, a 12k live band, 8k in flowers, a very high end fancy venue, limos, a desert bar, top shelf liquor, $350 bridesmaids dresses, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc resulted in?? No wedding.
Perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not, I have been invited to 3 weddings around the 100k range. Two of them resulted in divorce within a year, and this one – didn’t even happen.
The most important thing is – no matter what your budget is, whether it be 3k or 150k, make sure it is actually within your means and you are not setting your budget depending on credit cards or help from relatives that has not been offered to you. If parents are offering to help, get an exact number from them – do not assume, no matter how wealthy you think they are! AND BE HONEST ABOUT IT!! Keep a spreadsheet so even if you are doing most of the planning without your guy, he can see in a black and white way what you are spending and where. I feel absolutely terrible for both of them, but this was a preventable mess. Don’t be that girl!!