(Closed) A crap situation…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt and there may be more going on behind the scenes in her life that you are not aware of. 

Post # 4
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

You can have a talk wtih her and just say that you were really sad she didnt’ come to the wedding and she didnt’ come to your bachelorette party.

The not calling wasn’t cool, but you have to let that go.

And perhaps she IS pulling away. Do YOU want to be friends with this person anymore?

Post # 6
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Well, she bought you the shower gift already. I meant distance yourself–you don’t really need to write her off completely. Just don’t make the effort anymore.

In this case, let her take you out for coffee, be polite, and leave it where you can be sort of historical friends. That’s what I’d do.

Post # 7
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

It seems like she acted like she was sorry and is making an effort to get together with you.  I can definitely see why you are upset and I would be too, but if it were me I would meet up with her and see how it goes.  Then make your decision about the future of your friendship.  If you don’t think you can go without blowing up at her though, then forget it or wait a while.  Only go if you feel like you might want to salvage a relationship with her and can go with an open mind.

Post # 8
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Breathe! You are possibly jumping to conclusions and making yourself upset over a small thing. If I were a sick guest, I would not call the bride to tell her that on her wedding weekend, because I would not want to bother her with any bad news or take up her time when she is busy. I think your friend did all the right things (explained her absence, got you a gift, honestly wished you well) and your anger is overblown. People DO get sick and have to miss events sometimes, so I wouldn’t automatically assume she is lying about being sick. I think she did nothing wrong and that you shouldn’t toss out a dear friendship over this. Wait until you have cooled down a few weeks, then if it still bothers you you can meet her for lunch and explain that you were really sad she didn’t show up.

Post # 9
Member
4162 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It really sucks they blew off your wedding, but if she really was sick, that’s just horrible timing.  I’m thinking (from what I’ve read, I obviously don’t know the whole situation) that at least she emailed you the next day (although a text/call the day of the wedding would have been nice, maybe they figured you were too busy to take calls or texts though.)  and she also sent you a gift.

If you are done with the friendship which it sounds like you are, then I would agree with the other ladies, and just keep your distance.  Don’t put the in effort, but don’t leave it on a bad note.  You never know what may come up in the future and you don’t want to have bad feelings towards her, and same with her towards you.

Post # 10
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well she did not have to send a gift to you, and it might have been a real cold she had.  I would be giving the benefit of the doubt in this situaiton.

I think she is def trying to make things up to you.

Post # 11
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@snuggielove: I meant just meet up with her and see, then make decisions after that. I think you should take this as a separate incident and she seemed to be unhappy about not making it and give her the benefit of the doubt about the cold. 

Post # 13
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i would send her a thank you note and then not have anything to do with her, personally (granted, i didn’t read your original post).  maybe she’s being passive aggressive cos she wasn’t one of your bridesmaids?  either way, she sounds very immature and flaky. 

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