And I totally agree, men can be totally overwhelmed by this topic. But at the same time they have very fragile egos, they see the whole ring thing as a sort of “judgement” aspet of themselves… knowing full well that EVERYONE is going to want to see the ring.
On the positive side of things, by shopping together, we gals tend to end up with a ring we love, and with our GENTLE assistance, can take some of the stress off of our guys, especially when it comes to them knowing all there is about rings (the 4Cs).
Most guys don’t know alot about that, or even necessarily ask a lot of questions… so they can potentially be an “unprepared consumer” in such a major purchase. Next to a House and Cars, a E-Ring is one of the most important purchases in one’s lifetime (would you think of buying a car or a house, without doing much reading / research beforehand ?). Putting things in that perspective, can help a guy see that going together to make this purchase (or choice) can be wise planning.
My first wedding happened in the 1980s. I guess you could say I was a “progressive” Bride for my time, because I insisted that my Fiance and I go ring shopping together. My reasoning was that I have short stubby fingers (which I do) so not everything looks good on them. And if I was going to wear something the rest of my life, then I should certainly like it. He didn’t complain at this… he seemed rather relieved that I he didn’t have to go into a Jewellery Store all alone (a very daunting task for a guy… ever notice how many women browse these stores… even if they aren’t in the market for a ring, while their guys wait outside)
We went in looked around, priced out a few things, tried on some others. And left with an idea as to what was out there, and what it cost (IMO an important consideration for any couple, afterall an Engagement Ring is often the first major purchase of your relationship. I think as a couple, finances should be discussed as a couple… it lies down a foundation for a healthy future considering how many marriages break-up over money)
A few weeks later, he told me he had ordered a ring (my ring), and it was being sized, and we should go into the Jewellery Store after work to pick it up. I tried on the ring he had chosen and loved it, he had even added a “chip” diamond to the Wedding Band from the samples we had seen when we were browsing.
On the weekend we went out to a local Hotel (5 Star) for a very fancy meal to celebrate… I put on the ring before we left the house, and it was official, we were engaged. Lol, no big Proposal for me.
This Time Round (TTR)…
When my SO and I first started talking about getting married, I asked him when we would be going to look at rings. He looked at me in stunned amazement. He had never heard of such a thing.
Like most guys he had the “traditional” concept in mind of picking out a ring, and surprising me with it. Which is indeed romantic, but like FLUTTERBEE I tried to find an equivalent suggestion to something in his life he’d relate to… for us it was Hockey Equipment (lol, Guys and Sports eh?)
He quickly realized that he wanted me NO WHERE in charge of any hockey equipment purchases !! I said, ya, but if I had WON a Gift Certificate for a Sports Store, and had to come in and access the credit on my account to make my purchases, and I was thinking of buying you all NEW fabulous state-of-the-art hockey gear, would you want the Surprise, or would you prefer to come along and do the selecting (and drooling) yourself. He agreed, something so personal and important, and he’d sacrifice the surprise.
We recently went ring browsing. He told me to point out things that I might like. I am looking for something very unique TTR, I do not want a Solitaire. I am leaning towards something more of a cocktail ring. In seeing my preferences, my SO is glad that he has come along… because as he has said, he would have just headed right to the Solitaires if he had been left on his own.
We continue the hunt. I am pretty sure now, that this ring purchase will go similar to my first one over 30 years ago. In the end I will end up with a ring that I have taken part in choosing, and will LOVE it forever and happy that it is a valuable symbol of our love and who we are “together”.