Post # 1
So I was reading todays Dear Abby column. A woman writes in that she found out her husband had a recent affair with their neighbor. Well the affair has supposedly ended and the DH wants them to continue socializing with the woman he had an affair with. He insist that he and this woman and his wife can still be friends, and that by not agreeing she is keeping him on a short leash.
So my question is, if your DH or FI or SO had an affair with your neighbor, and wanted to continue socializing with her and demanded you go along with it, and try to be friends with her, what would you do?
By the way the DH has said the affair is over, however the neighbor lady is getting a divorce because her husband found out.
Post # 3
It would be a moot point, because he wouldn’t be my husband anymore.
Post # 4
@KatyElle: +1. He could continue fraternizing her all he wanted, because I wouldn’t be in the picture. Or he’d be dead.
Post # 5
@KatyElle: They are still married and according to the column she has told him repeatedly that it hurts her to socialize with this woman even though he insist.
Post # 6
IF we stayed married, there would be NO contact. The nerve of that man!
Post # 7
I very shamefully was once the other woman, and the man and his wife were insistent that we all remain friends. They kept screaming at me about how immature I was to not want any further contact. It was so very odd – I understand his motivation but will never get hers. I had to threaten them with restraining orders 18 months after it ended – they wouldn’t stop contacting me to be friends.
So no, I don’t think that a friendship post-affair is reasonable.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
What did Abby say? In my case, without knowing any other details…. it’s divorce time. I also wouldn’t stand for any continued contact with the other woman if for some reason we stayed together.
Post # 9
What?! What day was this? What did Abby say? What an asshole. I can’t imagine seeking advice if I were the wife. It would be one thing staying with him because he was remorseful and begging for forgiveness and deeply ashamed. But he seems like he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did!
Post # 10
I voted to end all contact but I would seriously consider a divorce. Gosh, he is so lucky nobody cut any body part off! The neighbor’s husband and the wife are too good if everyone is still considering being friends with each other!
Post # 11
@KatyElle: yup! and good luck to further “socializing” as he may be missing some necessary parts…….
Post # 12
I would so be vengeful. Dear trampy lady next door is going through a divorce? I would contact the STBX husband and asked if he needs testimony at his divorce hearing?
For Dear Dear worthless cheating hubby who wanted to maintain contact against my wishes?
He might be eating alpo meatloaf while I consulted my own attorney and figure out how to take everything he has including his sorry underwear.
Then I would sell everything I got, leave him to her and move on to a new life.
Post # 13
That man would be looking for a place to stay … if he was still alive
Post # 14
@hisgoosiegirl: This! Have fun buddy!
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
Wow… yeah no. We would not be friends. At all.
Post # 16
It’ll be a divorce for me. It is one thing to have an affair with some fling but to have an affair with a neighbor/friend, makes a bad situation 10x worse. Seeing her face/house/car/etc will be a constant reminder of how blinded I was to all of this. UGH.