(Closed) A decade WAITING

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 166
Member
477 posts
Helper bee

He doesn’t sound committed. You need to have a frank conversations about his intentions. If not, move on.

Post # 167
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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beelinetowhere123 :  “I tend to hit myself on the head when I can’t get through to him after we have a fight.”

Is this really how you want to live the rest of your life? Because he’s going to continue to stonewall you in one way or another and this is NOT HEALTHY. 

Post # 168
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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beelinetowhere123 :  any updates Bee? Seriously worried about you!

Post # 170
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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beelinetowhere123 :  You just sound really unhappy, and the whole situation sounds really unhealthy. I understand that 10 years is a long time – I hung on for over 11 with my ex. But. You’re unhappy. Do you think a proposal is magically going to fix the lying about the timelines, the ignoring your calls, the lack of passion regarding sharing adventures together, etc.?

Post # 172
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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beelinetowhere123 :  I mean. I feel like getting engaged, while bringing us closer in ALOT of ways (he views/treats us much more as a unit than before), it has also presented alot of challenges. We have had alot of issues dealing with his family and a few with my family, and in both instances Fiance has had to step up to present a united front. I’ve also been dealing with alot – wedding planning, work issues, health issues, etc.. Fiance, again, has had to step up and things just – aren’t easy. Also! Wedding planning! I love weddings, and love wedding planning, but it’s also a million decisions that I want FI’s opinion on and it’s been hard in certain instances when he just isn’t that enthused or interested. But overall, he will help me with my hare-brained ideas.

 

I understand that you and your BF don’t live together (good for you. I compromised on that, and while it was important for Fiance that we did, it also surely delayed a proposal, I suspect), but…given his behavior lately, how do you think he would react in such scenarios? Treating you as a unit? Being excited about your future together? I mean, I’m totally making assumptions about your interest in wedding planning and your future. I’m just saying that things just don’t magically get easier once you get engaged and (I assume) married. Weddings tend to bring out the best AND the worst in people.

 

 

Post # 173
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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beelinetowhere123 :  At this point nothing is going to make you happy and forget all this pain and misery he’s caused you. Why would you even want to marry him now? 

Post # 174
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

Why does he get to decide all this stuff? If he has a date, why can’t he tell you what it is? Your posts make me so sad. You sound so unhappy. He doesn’t want to travel with you. He doesn’t want to marry you. I’m not even sure if you want to marry him, or if you’re just waiting because you’ve waited for so long. Why are you torturing yourself watching proposal videos?

Stop throwing good money after bad. You should go to New Zealand by yourself, and think about moving on with your life.

Post # 177
Member
3131 posts
Sugar bee

I think you should book the New Zealaand trip and go by yourself.  Or maybe a good friend would like to go with you, if you would prefer to not travel alone.  

 

Post # 178
Member
231 posts
Helper bee

I commented on this thread when you first put it up but I am going to comment again.

I am failing to see why you want to marry this man. You do not seem to be in love with him or hold him in high regard. He doesn’t seem to love or respect you. You don’t seem at all happy. Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? If you are as miserable as you sound you should be running for the hills…life is too short to be this miserable, especially with the one person who is supposed to build you up more than anyone else. Why do you want this, Bee? Legitimate question.

Post # 180
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

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beelinetowhere123 :  Plenty of people meet the love of their lives after 32, or have happy, fulfulling lives single.  Are you happy & fulfilled with him?

I know it’s hard to make that change, but you deserve to be happy, don’t settle.

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