(Closed) A decade WAITING

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

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beelinetowhere123 :  I don’t think you’re being picky at all. However, I do think it’s time to move on. It shouldn’t take ten years for someone to propose if they really want to be married to you.

Post # 19
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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beelinetowhere123 :  your family will understand, and honestly I doubt it’s a secret. They are probably wondering why the heck he hasn’t done it yet.  If you were to separate and tell them why they will probably say “yeah I was wondering if he was ever gonna ask.” 

Post # 20
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

The fact that he’s stringing you along is worrisome.

The fact that you say he has lied to your face and you don’t believe he has a ring although he has told you he does is a Great Big Neon warning sign. Why would you want to marry a liar?

Post # 21
Member
2357 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I also agree that it sounds like he’s stringing you along. I don’t see anything wrong with being together for a long time before marriage – DH and I dated a little over 8 years before he proposed (we’re high school sweethearts so were still quite young – I was 25 and he was 24) but we were 150% on the same page and he never told me that he would propose by a certain date without any follow through. This is not your situation at all, however, and I honestly think I would be walking at this point. He doesn’t want to make that final commitment – you have to ask yourself if you’re willing to live like this for the rest of your life or whether you want to find someone who does want to marry you and won’t string you along for years. Don’t worry about your families being close – you need to do what is best for you, and your families will get over it.

Post # 22
Member
912 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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beelinetowhere123 :  if he doesnt propose on your 10 year anniversary dump him. I know u said you dont think it will happen because it’s no a long weekend or what ever.. but at this point it will be a miracle if he proposes at all so if he does it on a non-long weekend better than nothing… i would wait till the end of the anni and if he doesnt propose i would be leaving the next morning. 

Post # 23
Member
9 posts
Newbee

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beelinetowhere123 :  

Do yourself a favor and prepare for the best this weekend. Plan what youre going to wear, how you’ll do your hair, etc. But also plan how you want to remember your 10 year anniversary. Focus on the fact that you have been together this long and you dont want to have a tantrum on the anniversary just because he hasnt asked– I am speaking from experience because I think it can set you back from the engagement opporunity. 

Consider that its awesome that he planned the reservation and will pick you up! He may want to take you somewhere intimate after to propose? 

Again, speaking from experience, make the weekend/ date memorable regardless because it could lead up to the real proposal day and your attitude during dinner could make/break it. Remind him in your actions that he has the best girl that he’ll one day marry, when he’s ready. Because yes it would suck for him to not be ready as much as it sucks to have you waiting to know when it will happen. 

Best wishes and happy anniversary!

Post # 24
Member
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

How do you feel about all of his broken promises and the way he drops the ball he promised to deliver and then rugsweeps ? 

This doesn’t sound like a healthy way to communicate. Even if he does finally propose, I suggest you think about if you want to be with someone who chooses to hurt you like this, to make promises and break them and say nothing. You’re worth better than this.

Post # 25
Member
2333 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Well my Fiance never promised it was coming or that he had the ring and just wasn’t proposing. I wouldn’t have stood for setting a timeline and having it fall through. It was about two years of ‘waiting’ where I thought we reached the things we had agreed upon and he was putting it off due to stressors from work, but even then we talked about it openly and I felt committed without marriage so it wasn’t the end all be all for me. I certainly wasn’t waiting for him to get my life started. 

Post # 28
Member
9 posts
Newbee

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beelinetowhere123 :  I am in the same boat and I’m doing my best to stay afloat. Its been 12.5 years. We’ve talked about it and it drives me crazy that he has the ring and says we’ll even have our wedding ceremony this year (which doesnt give enough time for planning). But everytime a weekend passes, I would get really angry. About a few weeks ago, everything he did- annoyed me because I knew the ring wasnt with him, I was very bitchy and rude and Im 99% sure that it set our engagement back because I told him it was just stress as I cant bring myself to admit to him that he’s annoying me by not proposing. 

So since then, I’ve been on my best behavior like I used to be :), the real me. 

Because two things:

1. I dont want anyone else- he’s perfect

2. I dont want him to propose if hes not ready. I want him to want it as much as I do. And he’s probably planning it the way he wants, so lets see how that is.

Till then, Im working out, eating right, focusing on me, because next thing we know, I’ll be stressing over the wedding details and how the dress fits 🙂 

Post # 29
Member
616 posts
Busy bee

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beelinetowhere123 :  Bee please be done with this guy.  He’s going to say anything he can come up with to keep you around.  He’s lied to you multiple times and watched you suffer without it affecting him an iota.  Do you want a lifetime of a partner that doesn’t care about hurting you or honoring mutual agreements?  Can you trust that even if he does propose you won’t be forced to nag for years and years to set a date?  What if his lack of reliability spreads to other aspects of your shared life like commitments he makes to your family or future children? 

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