(Closed) A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

It sounds like he’s sticking his toes in the water. Seems like he remembered the conversation, but wanted to see what your reaction was, before he either went along with it, or tried to distance himself from saying it. I think he probably scared himself. He’s probably thinking a mile a minute about how he doesn’t want to scare you, and coming to terms with whether he’s in it for the real long haul. Something like that takes time to iron out, and it also takes knowing if your partner is on the same page in heading in that direction.

Post # 4
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Smack him. He probably knew exactly what he was doing, and he chose to do it while drunk, like JulesSchnooks said, to stick his toes in the water. IMO, it’s not OK!

My Fiance first told me he loved me when he was drunk and I was just a titch tipsy, standing in his kitchen after a night out dancing.

The next week, I came over, and we stood in his kitchen.

Me: “Do you remember what you told me right in this room, last weekend?”

Him: “Yes.”

Me: “What did you say?”

Him: “That I love you.”

Me: *smack on arm* “Don’t ever say anything important to me for the first time when you’re drunk. I love you, too.”

I’ve joked with him about it since then, but really, those types of convos are best had while sober – or maybe tipsy on a glass of wine 🙂

I’d suggest a private talk between the two of you about what he said and how you potentially feel the same and you’d appreciate some sober conversations from now on!

Post # 6
Member
6210 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@goodasitgets:  I agree that he was probably testing out the waters but probably feels too self conscious to admit to it while sober and is reverting back to logic when he says all the stuff about “many ones” blah blah blah. He might feel a little embarassed that he spoke so boldly if you told him that it scared you. What has always worked with my Fiance is to step away from that situation, accept it as it is, and move on. So instead of trying to backpedal and convince him that you’re not scared, etc. just make your future actions show him that you want a future together.

This may have been a good thing for you because he opened the door to saying things like that. Maybe now you can make comments that show that you are happy he said what he did, and are on the same page. Now that he said that, he also might think it was his idea =) 

Chances are that he really does feel that way, though!

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