(Closed) A DW with complications(Long)

posted 8 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

Honestly? I think no matter what date you picked and how accommodating you try to be,there will always be people who won’t be able to attend for one reason or another.

 I had my wedding on Nov.5th (on a Friday evening no less), at a log cabin church in the woods that no one could find! lol It was dark,the weather got really cold and I heard some people make comments about a Friday wedding,but you know what? Everyone that wanted to be there WAS. It was perfect and I’m sure yours will be too!

Post # 4
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I can relate. Our wedding was in September and was a destination wedding. My bridesmaids (though wonderful) were not able to really help me with any of the planning or details so I did it all by myself (although my mom did help me with a couple things like the invites). We invited 170 people and 95 or so showed up (our Destination Wedding was about a four hour trip for most people so not too far). But every thing I did centered around everyone else. I felt like I was being pulled in 100 different directions.  My sister-in-law would “nicely” tell me all the complaints that she’d heard from her side of the family and then say to let her know if there was anything she could do to help me feel less stressed. I responded with a long email that included the following:

“So let’s see, how to make me feel less stressed!! Make the logistics of trying to organize a $30,000 event for 100 people coming from all parts of the country while trying to make everyone happy while still making the bride and groom count at a location that is 4 hours away—just happen!! Not able to perform magic?? Okay, okay well then I’ll take my bridesmaids just being supportive of mine and your brothers decisions and ideas even when you would have done something differently. It is a very hard balancing act to try and make everyone else happy while remembering that the day is us.”

It felt good just to get that off my chest.

Post # 5
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I am also in the same boat that I feel like I’m planning everything by myself since everyone lives farther away. My Fiance also helps out where he can and vendors choices and stuff, but really, the boy didn’t know that the bride carried a bouquet so it was a little hard at first to start planning without hearing, “They do that?”  haha

Have you heard of A Practical Wedding? It’s a great blog that I love to read and it helps girls kind of keep things in perspective, grounded, practical (duh) and focused on what you really are doing—getting married to the man you love and sometimes you have to remind yourself that some of those details are not needed (or you don’t have time)!

I love this post: http://www.apracticalwedding.com/2010/01/your-wedding-is-not-show.html 

I really hope you read it 🙂

At first I was so concerned that my wedding wouldn’t be what most people would expect and not like it. Ummm, now I could care less if they do or don’t like it!  We are doing what is best for us and what we like.  We aren’t having a band or a DJ and decided to spend money elsewhere–most of our family doesn’t dance much anyway and we think most DJs, just, well, suck.  We aren’t having an open bar because we don’t find it necessary in our case.  Some of our guests drink and of course they’d love an open bar but I know they’ll be fine in the end with just beer. If they aren’t then after the reception they can go get smashed on their own dime.  We aren’t having a wedding party, ushers either.  Cuts out the drama. We aren’t doing a garter toss or bouquet toss either since most people coming are married or engaged, so it’s kind of pointless.

My Fiance has a small family and we, well me, is still disappointed most of them will not make the effort to come to the wedding. Most of them have not been to visit in Colorado in ages and it would be nice to see them (since I never have meet them) and a wedding is perfect reason, I think, but you can’t force people who are content not staying in touch with family.

I’ve had to deal with people asking, “But you’ll regret not having a band!”  Yes, but do you want to pay the $500 bill for them to play for only two hours?  No?  Okay, then please enjoy our iPod selection and just mingle or dance if you wish.  You really need to find that mentality and do what you guys want to do and forget about the other people.  Well, no, make sure they are taken care of and should have a good time but don’t feel like you have to form your wedding into what the guests except.

I’m sorry for the rambling and I hope this helps. Just know the hive is here to help with any question you have!

Post # 7
Member
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu

think about who you absolutely must have there with you. and make your wedding happen for them, not the “maybes”. for me, it’s Fiance of course, and both our immediate families. We set a date that worked for our siblings school schedules, and went from there.  Yes, it hurts to get the “nos”. I’m still struggling with that! But that’s how destination weddings are, and unfortunately there’s not too much we can do about it. *hugs* like smyley said, those that want to be there find a way to be there!

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