Post # 1
A few friends made comments about my engagement ring that I do not think were complimentary. Did this sort of thing happen with any of the people on here? One girl I knew from childhood said ” Wow your ring is so simple, the simple solitaire look. ( Just for a little background my ring is a solitaire diamond about 1 carat in a gold setting, I would consider it traditional not simple) Anyways the way she said this made me feel like wow what a simple ring why do you like it? I know she didn’t say that straight out but it was honestly strange. It felt like kind of like a back handed compliment. I had just been engaged and it honestly was like what that’s what you say to me. I also had someone say how big is it in a weird way. Like is that even big enough? I am happy with my ring. I love the color of the gold and I love the setting and the size of the diamond. If I picked out my own ring I think it would be a little different but I am glad my fiance picked it out. Anyone else deal with this type of thing? I hope I don’t sound strange saying this. I just feel like wow couldn’t you just say its nice instead of the rude remarks. I don’t think I would ever dare say some of thing people have said. Any thoughts would be great!
Post # 2
Well, I wouldn’t say simple is a bad thing especially when she followed it up with “the simple solitaire look”. To me, that implies simple to be a good thing that could mean timeless and elegant and uncluttered. I could totally see myself complimenting a ring and saying something like “Oh wow! I love that its so simple!”
At the end of the day all that matters is that you and your Fiance love your ring. There are always going to be people who don’t like it and thats okay too as long as they aren’t trying to flat out be hateful.
Post # 3
About the simple comment…not all of us are well spoken, and there is only so much to say about a ring. It sounds like your friend was trying to compliment you and it came out badly.
Post # 4
Neither of those comments sound particularly rude to me TBH (unless someone actually said “Is that even big enough?”). A 1 carat solitaire is about as classic as it gets, so I wouldn’t dwell on these comments or read into them as much as you are. I genuinely don’t think most people put much thought into their commentary on someone’s ring.
Post # 5
What do you feel their responses should have been?
I have a “simple solitaire” engagement ring and that in no way would have been offensive to me. I love the simplicity of solitaires. Not everyone is going to share in your taste, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I would just brush it off. As long as you love it, that is all that should matter.
Post # 6
If these are otherwise good friends, and don’t usually say mean things, I’d give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes dumb things come out of my mouth that I didn’t mean to say. Consider it just an accident.
Post # 7
I really wouldn’t be too worried about it. There are SOO many ring styles, and they’re not for everyone. As long as YOU love it, that’s all that matters. Their comments are coming from a selfish place (even if unconsciously), and they’re just reacting to if THEY had received a ring like that. It has nothing to do with you, and while it’s shortsighted, I don’t think it was mean spirited. Sounds like they are just a bit naive. Don’t sweat it!
Post # 8
Everyone will have their opinions, and some of them might be weird. When I first got my ring, which is also coincidentially a 1 carat solitaire, I got “How did he afford such a big rock?!” and “Aw! Such a dainty little ring for your dainty little finger” over the course of a few hours.
At the end of the day, your opinion is the only one that matters.
Post # 9
Thanks guys maybe its just like not good communication I dont know. I guess I was looking for wow thats pretty. Or like he did a good job or something like that.
Post # 10
Solitaires are my favorite setting, for their classic lines, their understated elegance, and their focus on the center stone with no distractions. I’m sure yours is gorgeous.
As for the comments you got, none of us were there. Maybe the first friend misspoke and meant to say “so beautiful.” Of course, your instincts could be correct. I would have just said something like “Yes, I love that nothing distracts from the focus on the center stone” or probably better yet “thank you.” The comment about the size sounds mostly like a stupid attempt at humor. But really, who knows or cares?
In general though, I don’t disagree with you. I mean, how difficult is it to tell someone their ring is beautiful? Complimenting an engagement ring is, or should be, an exception to the rule that if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all. All engagement rings are beautiful, if for no other reason than the love and sentiment they represent.
Just say it!
Post # 11
I once complimented someone’s ring by bursting out how small and dainty it was – only realising as it was out of my mouth how it might have sounded. 🙁 But it was a genuine compliment – I’d seen a pic of it on Facebook where it looked a bit gaudy and costume jewellery-esque, whereas in real life it’s really pretty and delicate.
My point is, the first comment you mentioned could easily have been a compliment that just came out wrong. 🙂
Post # 13
The only person your rings should matter to is you and your fiancé. You don’t wear a ring to get compliments on it. Who cares if other people think he did a good job or not? Just be happy with it! It sounds great.
Post # 14
Simple, big, delicate, dainty…these are all words I’ve heard people be insulted by on the bee. It’s almost not worth trying to compliment rings anymore. 🙁
Post # 15
nahhhh dont sweat it. all that matters is that you love it. congrats on your engagement! Pictures???