(Closed) A few questions about elopements…

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012


Hi and welcome!  This board is a great place for intimate weddings and elopements!

Do you and your Fiance know how much you two could contribute, as if you were not getting any help?  I would advise you to go with that number and let this $2000 just be a wedding gift from your family.  I have see too many brides get “promised” money and it doesn’t work out.  So plan as if it weren’t there, and if you get it then what a nice wedding gift!  Of course, if you get the cash/check in hand prior (rather than a word) then that’s different.

If you do have wedding guests (even witnesses), then you do have to receive them some how.  A full meal is definitely not required, even sharing some champagne and slicing up a cake is completely sufficient.  What you described is perfectly fine etiquettely speaking and really, that’s how most wedding were back in the day! The key is to not get married near a meal time, so that people aren’t expecting a dinner when you are offering cake.

Our “reception:” My H and I eloped at a lodge in Canada.  We had a lovely outdoor ceremony at 5pm overlooking a lake.  We took photos with our photographer for 1.5 hours after the ceremony.  Then at 7:10pm, we had dinner at the lodge.  It was a three course dinner (it was us and our two witnesses) along with champagne and wedding cake.    The dinner lasted about 3 hours.  That was the “reception” if you want to call it that! My Father-In-Law (he was a witness) tried to pay for our dinner, and we’re like no, this is the reception part!  You don’t to go other wedding receptions and pay for your meal do you?  LOL  It was funny.

The marriage commissioner, license, dinner for 4, champagne and cake came to about $500 if I were to put a value on it. It was a fancy lodge.

How many people were you thinking of inviting?  What would your idea cost if you were to price it out for the food/cake?  Alternatively, could you offer them lunch at a local restaurant?  Get a private room (all the linens, flatware, seating provided), create a limited menu with the staff (like choose two entrees),  maybe bring in your own cake and champagne.  That would be under $2000 is my guess!  Use the rest to treat yourself to a mini-vacation.

Or just have cake and champagne at where you are getting married (church, park, museum, etc).  I think without dancing, music, etc people would probably hang out for about an hour?  Nothing wrong with that!  People would just talk and visit and share the joy. 

Post # 5
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Lemon-Squeezy:  I had a 75 person Destination Wedding planned and nearly paid for before we cancelled 4 months before the big day.  My dad had 4-6 months to live at that point.  Not knowing when it was going to happen, we cancelled it to avoid the worst possible outcome and so I could focus on flying home often to visit him.  Sadly, he did pass away at 4 months like they predicted.  I don’t think a big wedding was for us anyway.

Like you, certain events just make you want to focus on what is important – getting married without being drowned with the details.  Making the day about the two of you.


I have seen weddings on blogs where the bridal party is about or more than the guests so no biggie.

What all do you get for your $600?  That seems a lot to me if you are having
Here’s an intimate wedding with a brunch reception at a restaurant.  Just a few small details added (photos, etc).

Brunch Courthouse Wedding in NYC

Post # 6
1222 posts
Bumble bee

Waiting bee here, but I’m favoriting this for future reference.

SO and I have talked about having a very small wedding (50 people MAX!) and treating everyone to a meal at a restaurant after. I definitely think the finger foods and punch thing could work- tons of brides plan just a punch and cake reception.

The topic ‘A few questions about elopements…’ is closed to new replies.

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