(Closed) A girl from his past messaged him!

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is this girl trying to squeeze back into my DH's life?
    Yes : (1 votes)
    100 %
    Probably not : (0 votes)
    maybe... : (0 votes)
    Other (please explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 19
    38 posts
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Actually, this happened recently to my FH.  I think its harmless really especially if he hasn’t responded.  That message in particular just seems like she’s reaching out to touch base.  Sometimes people just think about points in their life and feel the need to do things like that.

      Unless, she says something suggestive I would think this is harmless.  Sometimes I think if things never panned out or didn’t go well between people it’s just one of those things.  I know my FH was engaged previously a few years before he met me, and his ex (who ended things because she was cheating) sent him a note that was along the same lines and this was after years of them not talking (for obvious reasons).

    Post # 20
    1312 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Annoying yes but sounds fairly harmless. Actually just sounds like she is being nosey and just wants to know what is going on in his life. If his Facebook hadn’t been private and she could see everything, who knows, maybe she wouldn’t have messaged him? Facebook sometimes gives us just enough to make us curious but not enough to actually know what’s going on!

    Post # 21
    5282 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I don’t think there is a motive there, nor do I even think she is trying to reconnect or build a friendship again – I think she messaged him out of 100% pure curiosity to see whats up with his life.

    Post # 22
    38 posts
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I agree with @erostron Sometimes facebook does really peak some interest when you can only see certain info and maybe she had nothing better to do that night or was bored and decided to send a message out of curiosity.  

    Post # 23
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I would say she seems to have emotional ties, but not necessarily romantic. Women tend to hold on to their attachments more so than men and so perhaps she just wants to reach out and see how he is doing. I have done the same thing with a friend recently who also got married. We don’t communicate on a regular basis, just every now and then to make sure we are all alive and well.

    Her words were harmless and kind so as long as nothing more develops and it isn’t a consistent borage of 2:00 am text messages I think you will be fine.

    Post # 24
    3521 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    It doesn’t sound like a big deal to me at all. It sounds like just another “What’s up?” message sent out of curiosity. Definitely not trying to steal your man or squeeze back into his life, imo.

    Post # 25
    3197 posts
    Sugar bee

    It seems pretty harmless, but I think that if he/you are uncomfortable just block her.

    Post # 26
    2441 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I wouldn’t worry about it.  It doesn’t seem like she’s trying to make advances towards your hubby to me.  And even if she was, you trust your hubby so trust that he will not accept any advances should she make any towards him.  You’ve probably got other stuff to worry about.  Don’t worry about this.  

    Post # 27
    4802 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    It doesn’t sound bad to me…it sounds like she’s just trying to be friendly.  I wouldn’t worry too much about it! 

    Post # 28
    5495 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Nah. Sounds like she was just trying to say hi and that she had no hard feelings, etc. Don’t worry! At least he told you about it!

    Post # 29
    3010 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I went through something similar with one of J’s past interest. It bothers me just thinking about it. Mostly because he did respond, but he also talked about me and some personal things (which I didn’t care for). Anyways, it did upset me so he deleted his e-mail account so she had no way to contact him. Of course there’s a chance she will try to reach out via Facebook, but I know this time around that he won’t partake in conversation.


    Sometimes messages may be harmless, but I’m a believer of leaving the past in the past. Too much drama can be caused.

    Post # 30
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I wouldn’t necessarily “worry” about this email, however, it’s clear to me that she’s reaching.  Or, as my mom used to put it, throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks.  I’ve experienced the curious ex or the ex who sniffs back around once their former flame has moved on.  I would say she’s definitely trying to see if she can get your Darling Husband to respond.  So long as he doesn’t there is nothing to worry about, but your Darling Husband should certainly not entertain her attempts in any way.  Good luck.

    Post # 31
    12 posts
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I guess I see it as that is the purpose of facebook, to reconnect with people whom you’ve lost touch with and of course other things.  Being that I have done something similar I don’t see it as a problem, but then again I know my own motives.

    She could regret the knee jerk reaction to defriend him, she could miss his friendship, she could honestly be happy for him and wanting to become a part of that.  Who knows.  

    *if* she had said guess what I am wearing or I miss our snuggle time etc I would be concerned.  It doesn’t seem sinister, what does your Darling Husband think about it?

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