Post # 1
So, another post got me thinking. Today one of my really close friends told me she has a crush on me. i would have been more open to this possibility before I met my SO. but I know I’ve met the one for me.
She wants to take me on a date. (When any of us girls hang out we always call it a date.) But this time it would be just us two. I love having her a friend and spending time with her. how should I take what she told me? She’s very respectful of my relationship. But why would she tell me this, we are all very open with each other and i didn’t take it too seriously. I’m just concerned that somewhere down the line something might affect our friendship.
Should I be concerned?
Post # 3
I think that you need to be careful. She may have told you just to get it out in the open and for her own sake so that she doesn’t have any regrets.
I would probably not go on the “date” with her as you might be leading her on. In the end though talk about it with your SO and decide on what you both feel comfortable with.
Unfortunately this might mean that you end up loosing her as a friend. Or she might find someone else and it all end well.
Quick thought: Could she be looking for a threesome?
Post # 4
This screams trouble, you should definitely be concerned. You say she’s respectful of your relationship, but that sure doesn’t sound accurate if she’s saying she has a crush on you and asking for a date.
Post # 5
This is always a really awkward situation. I wouldn’t go on a date just you two, but if you girls always call it a date, there is no harm in making it a girls night out. But do talk to your SO, some people handle it with “Well I love you, so of course everyone else does too!” other people take it more “Oh….I would prefer you not be around them then.” Respect whatever decision your SO makes, even though that can be really hard to lose a friend. If they mean so much to you, that you’re not willing to stop hanging out with them for your SO, be prepared to admit that. I agree with courtney1188, people respectful of your relationship treat it as a serious matter, not a momentary hurdle in their pursuit of you. If your SO is fine, and you’re worried about that coming between your friendship, it might. It really hurts when you care for someone, admit it, and they don’t feel that way back. Your friend may or may not be comfortable with that. Some friends shake it off, because they value you as a friend more than a potential love interests. But some people stay friends because you are their love interest, and they are hoping if they stick around it will evolve into more. Talk to your SO, and then talk to your friend. Honesty is the best way to preserve relationships, even if they get their feelings hurt, it is better than leading them on.
Post # 6
Thanks bee’s. She absolutely knows I am happy and in love with my boyfriend. However I kinda do feel like she is testing the water a bit. As if she’s trying to see if I’ll become more interested in her. It’s not uncommon for many of our friends to jump back and forth from dating men to women. As for myself, I’ve only dated men, I’ve been intrigued by women before, it just never got to the point of dating.
i will talk with her, and my SO just to see how they are both feeling about the situation and to make sure no lines are being crossed.
Post # 7
I know my situation is a little different, but my friend Adam (who has been dating a girl for 4 years) told me a few weeks ago that he has liked me since he laid eyes on me (we met in January for a professional writing class). He began to send me text messages recently about how pretty he thinks I am, etc.
Then in class on Tuesday, he informed me he broke up with his long-time girlfriend because he wants to be with me (and he knows about my relationship…never kept that a secret!)
My advice is to distance yourself. I don’t answer his texts, and on Thursday I started sitting on the other side of the classroom. Just best to get yourself out of the situation!
Post # 8
I don’t think this situation is any different from a guy friend coming out and saying he has a crush on you and wants to hang out one on one. I think you are heading into troubling waters here and it’s time to pull back a little. I know you enjoy her as a friend but spending time alone with her would really excercebate (sp?) things. I would not go on this one on one date. I would hang out with her though.