Post # 1
My Future Mother-In-Law is awesome, I feel so lucky that I get to be part of her family someday. She’s one tough lady, and is currently going through treatments for her breast cancer. She recently got a masectomy, and she’ll be starting her radiation soon. I know that this can be just exhausting, and I want to be supportive without her feeling like I think she’s weak or incapable of taking care of herself. I already sent her a card and knitted her a cap for when she was in chemo, and flowers after she had her masectomy. I don’t know a good gift or thing to do for people going through radiation.
I was wondering if there were any bees out there who have any good ideas? I was thinking about maybe making her a rice sock heating pad, but I’m not sure if that would actually help with aches/pains associated with radiation.
I can knit and sew, so anything crafty would work but I would like to find something to get her when I see her next weekend, so fast is better! 🙂
PS I had no idea which category to post this in, so sorry if I picked one that doesn’t fit.
Post # 3
I’d honestly ask her what you can do to help. Offer to spend the night with her after treatment days, cook meals that can be frozen and easily reheated, etc. My uncle went through really intense chemo/radiation, and it was awful. But the last thing he wanted was food, and flowers couldn’t be in the room because of germs, etc.
Best wishes for a quick recovery for your FMIL!
Post # 4
What about books? She will prob spend a lot of time resting….. I like your idea of the heating pad too…. Maybe a gift bag with the heating pad a few books maybe inspirational type books to lift her spirits. Maybe a nice gift set with soothing bath salts or candles!
Post # 5
@abbie017: That’s a great idea, she’s stubborn so I think I just need to insist on her giving me something I can help out with. They have a dog who is adorable but very energetic so I may offer to take her out for a jog and then give her a bath so that she’s all clean and tired.
@weddingbound: A book is perfect! My SO always jokes that he knew I was “in” when she offered me her special reading chair one afternoon. I think I may give her a stack of magazines, something easy to read that she won’t have to follow too closely to still enjoy.
Thank you so much you two, I think doggy care + books/magazines + heating pad is perfect!
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Can you help with things around the house- like grocery shopping, cleaning, or laundry?
Unless she has a cleaning service, these can easily get pushed to the bottom of the to-do list. I know whenever I’m home sick, I always appreciate it if the house is clean. Doggy care is also a great idea.
Post # 7
See if there is a spa/salon that caters to cancer patients so that she can be pampered! You have to be careful with pressure and cleanliness so its impossible to just walkin to a salon. There is a place near where I work that I send my patients called Faye’s Light that provides free services to patients currently undergoing treatments. http://www.fayeslight.org/ but I’m sure there is something, even if it isn’t free that knows how to pamper her. Or even maybe their website will give you ideas. Good luck, and I’ll keep her in my prayers!
Post # 8
I just want to say how awesome it is that you want to do this. She’s lucky to have you as a DIL.
Post # 9
Cleaning house – doing dishes, laundry, making lots of small freezer meals for her to heat up when shes ready to eat (which might be at weird hours!) running errands, walking the pets – even asking if she would just like to go for a ride on a nice day where she can kick back in the seat with the window down; and be prepared to do it on her time schedule, on how she feels.
Honestly? Shes basically going to feel like shit and will not want to do anything but the most simplest basics…I would know.
Also, Radiation dries out the body big time – get the real good creamy non scented lotion as gift, in the largest size possible – she’ll go through it fast…and maybe a refillable cup w/lid with a funny saying on it, rather then those damn reminder hospital cups they send you home with. She’ll appreciate bottled water also by the case – tap water can have some nasties for her immune system if the kitchen sink isnt cleaned daily.
Also, heres a link to the free “Look Good feel better program” run by the American Cancer Society – http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/SupportProgramsServices/look-good-feel-better they give a “makeover” giving out free new makeup, face wash (like clinque stuff! yay!) and answer lots of questions about beauty while recovering – you could go with her when shes ready to make an appt! Its fun too; you dont feel like an oddball because they already know whats what..(I wouldnt try to go to a regular storecounter, it is just a reminder of how much her world has changed and then she has to do the long spiel of what happened etc… it gets old fast and then you really dont know how clean their brushes are etc. )
Best healing wishes to your FMIL!
Post # 10
Oh, and I agree with Mightywombat – you rock you wonderful DIL you!
Post # 11
@rebwana: We live about 2 hours away, so the day-to-day stuff is a little harder for us to help out with. We are planning on coming out on a couple weekends to do this though.
@H2MrsDj: That is so cool, I had no idea that there were places like this! My Future Sister-In-Law and I were talking about maybe having spa day for when she is feeling better, maybe we can do it sooner if we find a place like this.
@mightywombat: Aw, thank you! She has always been so kind and worked so hard for everyone else, I want to make sure she feels as pampered and special as she makes everyone around her feel. 🙂
@montanamum: Lots of good ideas, she actually has already complained about how annoying the hospital cups are. She always says “I know I feel gross, you don’t need to remind me!”, lol. My SO was talking about buying one of those tumblers you can put pictures in and decorating it with all of us, so I’ll pass your post along. Haha, thank you too! Like I said, she’s pretty much the best Future Mother-In-Law a lady could ask for.
Post # 12
You could see if you can buy her a monthly/weekly parking pass to the hospital – that shiznat gets expensive when you have to go every day/every other. 🙂
Post # 13
Hmm, I posted like an hour ago and I guess it never showed up! Weird.
@Juliepants: That’s a good idea, but luckily the treatment center my Future Mother-In-Law goes to has free parking for patients that’s nice and close. Thank you for the idea though!
Post # 14
Definitely books for her to read. I spent so much time reading since I been in and out of the hospital. Maybe some gift cards to restaurants so she doesn’t have to cook.
Post # 15
I just had a bilateral mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. While flowers are pretty, they might not be a good idea as she may develope a sensitivity to the pollen. Plus, throwing out rotting flowers is a real chore. If she’s a chcolate lover, a box of chocolate would be great. The things I loved the most were the six-pack of gelato sent to me by my college roommate and the cheesecake sampler & chocolate covered strawberries from DH’s co-workers. Another friend brought a tervis tumbler.
She may not feel so good or be able to concentrate after the treatments. You might consider an ipod or books on tape/cd. She may not feel like eating, but the treats are always nice. I don’t like melon, but edible arrangments are also very good.
Post # 16
@vttp926: Cool, thanks for casting your vote!
@iswimibikeirun: Wow, I hope your recovery is going well! Maybe we can get her a variety of sweets or something so she can decide what type she likes most now. Thank you for sharing your perspective, SO and his siblings bought her a DVR when she was in chemo which she has been getting a lot of good use out of.