Post # 1
Please vent with me about your worst, most shallow, “maybe sounds selfish” vent about TTC!
Mine: I’ve been married for a little over a year, and we have been NTNP for 5 months. I have been “sort of” diagnosed with PCOS (beyond aggravating). No real bfp, maybe a few false positives, but now everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant without being prepared or trying. Aaaghhhhh!!!!
Please, can we have a good old fashioned b-fest where we don’t care how selfish or “thankful anyway” we should be, and just VENT without judgement about TTC??
Post # 3
@AnonymousCupcake: my sister in law (who was sad when we got married first), really wants to have children before me and my Darling Husband. My brother is 2 years older, but I have also been with Dh for 10 years. It’s my time too. It makes me want to beat her to kids even though it was never a competition before. It feels like it has to be now, haha.
I could see if she wanted to be first between her and her sisters. To give her parents the first grandbabies. But it’s a race with her in law family. GTFO, who do you think you are (haha, I feel so bitchy! )
Post # 4
@Ice_cream: totally understand loving these people but feeling competitive (?)! No one really knows we are TTC, and everyone who is pregnant is nice and lovely but UGH!
Post # 5
@AnonymousCupcake: it’s your life and you have the right to be bitter if you want something but you have no control of the outcome. You go girl.. Shove it, moms! Haha.
Post # 6
We’ve been trying for 9 months now, struggling with MFI issues not even a squinter to show for it and everyone is pregnant, two people I am close with got pregnant by accident. One of them used the name I wanted for a boy if we ever had one, AND I just got an invite to the other one’s baby shower.
Pour a little more salt in the wound why don’t you…
(Though I do have to give the baby shower girl credit, she felt really bad that she got pregnant when she knew we were trying and having trouble… and she asked my husband if it was rude to invite me to her shower given our circumstances… he didn’t think it would bother me. )
Post # 7
How no one knows we’re trying but I can’t make it through one day without hearing, “When are you having kids?” “You should have a baby!” “Speaking of babies… (while looking straight at me, even when no one was talking about babies). <Groans>
Post # 8
While I get it, Darling Husband and I are young and in no hurry, a year off BC and 70+ days a cycle is sucky. And everyone seems to get pregnant without trying! My cousin knocked up his gf of two weeks (both who are in HS and totally not wanting a baby, luckily she was smart and the baby is with an incredible adoptive family now), a friend from growing up with multiple chronic health issues got pregnant the first month they tried. A co-worker who is seriously about 100-150 lbs over weight and drinks like a fish got knocked up ON their wedding night. Another friend has two kids and a third on the way, all of which were conceived while she was on birth control and using condoms. And here we are, happily married with jobs and no health issues we know about, maybe 20 lbs over weight, but nada. I had an appointment to go see my doc about this totally nuts 70+ days a cycle thing but it won’t be for a few weeks due to my work schedule. BLAHHHH.
Post # 9
@lillieb33: I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. No one know we’re trying, either, but I dread the day I have to tell my mother that we’re pregnant because I’m sure she’ll be horrible about it. Never mind that we’re in our thirties, financially stable, and have a near-decade long relationship under our belts (as well as rings on our fingers [important to my family, not necessarily me])– she’ll still be awful. Anytime anyone asks if we’re thinking about having kids, my mom is all “oh, good god no.” Makes me feel like I’m obviously going to be a horrible mother.
At my bridal shower, a friend of mine gave me the advice to wait a few more years, until we were more financially stable (we do just fine, thank you). Then my brother– my 23 year old, never moved away from home brother!– told me, like, the week before the wedding to wait on having kids.
DH’s family is fabulous, but on the whole my family (and friends) make me feel like I’m going to be a shit mom so I shouldn’t even try.
(And I’m in my two week window and I totally feel defeated and like we’re not going to be successful this round…it just all piles on, doesn’t it?) I’d just rather have people be overly supportive than aggressively anti-baby.
*phew* Thanks for listening.
Post # 10
@lillieb33: Ahh that is the worst!!! I hate when people ask when I’m having kids anyway.. it’s not like anyone wants an honest answer.
“When are you having kids?”
“Oh, I’m not sure, we have sex all the time but no dice!”
Post # 11
We have been trying for 6 cycles and have had 4 chemical pregnancies.
We had told one of our closest friends the name we wanted to use for our future daughter, Darling Husband has wanted to have a girl and use that name since we were engaged lol. She asked us for girls’ names since she’s expecting a girl. We gave her a lot of name options and also mentioned “our name”, she told us it was really pretty and of course she wouldn’t use that name and just a month ago she sent me an email letting me know she was going to use that name and hopefully we wouldn’t get mad. I had just had another miscarriage, so I got really angry and sad when I read her email, I know I have no “claim” on names, but I still felt really sad. She got pregnant on her 2nd month trying and she was going to have a girl and use “our name” and we just keep losing pregnancies and may never have kids. She now says that she has always liked that name, so how come she didn’t say so when she asked us for name ideas, or before since we’ve been friends for years. Rant over
Post # 12
@Turtle83: OMG that is so rude of her!
Post # 13
@Turtle83: That’s pretty awful. What a *****.
Post # 14
This is a little bit of a weird one but FH and I were unofficially planning to TTC right after the wedding. I’ve been asked to be Bridesmaid or Best Man in January – no problem right? Wrong – the wedding is in INDIA. I cannot imagine not being able to go so now I’m completely torn. I’m almost 31 – do I try and plan TTC around the wedding? If I’m feeling well I’d be okay with travelling in my second trimester, but at the same time tickets have to be booked early so I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to wait too long, I’m ‘getting up there’ as people keep reminding me and now that we’re finally ready there’s something else holding us back…
Post # 15
@MsGinkgo: India, geez, talk about throwing a wrench in your spokes… If I were you, I would carry on with what your original TTC plan was. Why schedule your life around someone’s wedding? One of my BMs just got pregnant and then felt super bad because I had told her the wedding date (took us almost a year to choose one) and that she would have a 2 month old by then. I told her I didn’t care, and even if I did she shouldn’t schedule her life around me!
@Turtle83: Aw, that sucks. I think we’re keeping all names that we like fairly secret just to avoid that issue. What exactly is a chemical pregnancy? I’m not TTC yet.
Post # 16
@AnonymousCupcake: @Rachel631: I know! My Darling Husband was really offended at the fact she sent an email, instead of telling us in person.
@sourcandy: A chemical pregnancy it’s a miscarriage at or before 6 weeks. I hate the term, it makes it sound like it’s not a real miscarriage, there is no real pain.