(Closed) A great article for women everywhere!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t have any friends who talk about their significant others like that, not unless they’re seriously considering breaking up with them. Who does that? Maybe it’s a cultural thing?

Post # 4
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think this applies to life in general. Criticism and negativity will just breed more of the same!

@Beluga:  I agree with this as well. I have never heard people do this except for a few who I are in awful marriages and it’s actually really uncomfortable to be around.

Post # 5
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

A friend of mine complains about her husband non-stop.  They live away, so we don’t see them much and as a result, I haven’t really gotten to know him, beyond her negative words.

When they came to our wedding, he seemed great!  I felt bad about not liking him without really knowing him.

I am soooo careful to keep my Darling Husband comments/criticisms to a minimum.  If I have a problem with Darling Husband, I talk to him about it.

Post # 6
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I do actually hear this from people and it’s been mentioned on the boards before – older couples who tell you (somewhat jokingly) ‘you’ll regret getting married’, wife always nags, husband never helps out, never listens to me – so I do think it’s important to remember how much power our words have.

I know I fail sometimes and nag at Darling Husband for not doing one thing or another, but I also try to make a conscious effort to tell him thank you for taking the garbage out or how wonderful of a husband he is. I never want him to feel like I take him for granted!

Post # 7
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I work with all men, and all day long all they do it bitch about their wives.  Some of them would benefit from reading this article!

Post # 7
Member
4109 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Love it & totally agree. Maybe not true for everyone, but when I listen to my best friend complain about her husband for an hour on the phone, it seems like I’m automatically more hostile towards Darling Husband in both thoughts & words. It sets the tone for my relationship that day. On the flip side, when I only have positive things to say to her about Darling Husband (which is the majority of the time), she gets annoyed with “our perfect relationship”. If I complain too, it validates her relationship somehow, so I may just be doing it to relate to her on some level, which really isn’t healthy either.

I also think there’s a difference between harmless everyday complaints and straight up demeaning your husband. Overall, negativity in general is never good for anyone or thier relationship.

Post # 9
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You know this is really interesting. The women I work around will either bash their husband or talk about how awful their exhusband was. Looking back now, I do seem to be bad towards my SO after those days…. I’m going to be more cognisant (sp?) of this!

Post # 10
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow, that article is great. My best friend is a complete male hater. She got her heart broken badly last year, so now she is completely anti-relationship. It’s awkward because she is my Maid/Matron of Honor, but I feel like she never likes to hear about how great my relationship is. Everytime we talk – she vents about how much she hates guys, she thinks they’re all jerks, and relationships are just a waste of time. After speaking with her, my fiance always points out that I treat him differently. I always just thought he was nuts for thinking that… but now I see that he is right. This article is so true.

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